G, Me & Canine Company

Ginger's Surgery

2011-01-09T17:18:00.003-05:00

Ginger went in for Patella surgery on Saturday and came back home today. She had an amazing Orhtopedic Surgeon, Dr. Rinzler in Grand Rapids/Belmont. Her left leg was much worse, so that was the first leg done. She will need to have the right leg done in 8 weeks, once she has recovered from this surgery.

If you are unfamiliar with Patella surgery, it was her knee cap was not in place and wouldn't 'pop' back in place either. So she couldn't use that leg. This is something she was born with, it's a genetic defect. It just took this long to rear it's ugly head! I'm so thankful she is with us and we are financially in a place take care of this right now. If it was not fixed, she would eventually be completely lame in her back end.

She needs to 'chill' for about 6-8 weeks to let the leg heal. This is going to be interesting and I'm dreading it to be honest!!! She's a year old and full of energy!!!! Right now she's a bit stoned on pain meds and I think uncomfortable, so she's not trying to do too much, which I'm so thankful for. She can't jump or run, so I have to help her up onto the couch and down the steps to go outside. I'm also taking her out on a leash so she can't run around.

So I'm really hoping this leg will heal up nicely and the surgery on the right leg will go just as smooth. I'm very happy with Dr. Rinzler and his care for Ginger. He told me this today he'd be more than happy to keep her, she's a sweet and wonderful dog and he'd fallen in love with her :) That's our girl!!

Phalin's pups -- 7 weeks

2011-01-08T16:24:00.000-05:00

I went to see Phalin and her pups tonight and I could not believe how big they grew in a week and how much more outgoing they were! Tessa who was so shy a week ago, was totally picking on her brother Theo!!!
They were out with the 'big' dogs and loving it!!! They played and played and played!!!!

Tessa chewing on Phalin's leg....ouch! Those are such sharp little puppy teeth and Phalin is such a good mom!!!!

Phalin's Pups -- 6 weeks

2011-01-04T19:57:00.005-05:00

I went to visit Phalin and pups this weekend. They are now 6 weeks old and even cuter! They are weaning more and more from Phalin, but she's still a wonderful mom and spends a lot of time with them.

This is Tessa (the female)...isn't she adorable? She's so sweet and shy!

And this is Theo (the male). The rough, tough and outgoing boy!

Then they started playing....to cute!

Phalin's pups -- 5 weeks

2010-12-26T19:47:00.005-05:00

I was unable to visit Phalin last week, so I missed a week. But I went over on Christmas Eve to visit and they are now 5 weeks old and even more adorable! They are developing personalities. The little girl is more shy. Both starting to learn to play and make more noise. They also had just started getting some goats milk that day, so when I was visiting I got to see the pups give a try with that.

Proud mama....doing such a great job and always excited to see me when I go visit!

Miss Jasmine

2010-12-21T21:13:00.004-05:00

Before Thanksgiving I was invited by Jasmine's mom & dad to come for a visit. Of course I said yes!!! In case you might not recall, Jasmine was our first foster who now lives with her mom & dad about 30 minutes from us. I went and spent the afternoon with them and had a great time catching up with them, lunch and visiting with Jasmine. She's still as sweet as ever and so loves her new home! It's great to go visit with her. Thanks Brenda & Dan for inviting me over, it was a great afternoon!

Here are a few pics that Jasmine's mom took of my visit...

Jasmine and her sister Daisy on the right.

Then recently Jasmine's mom sent me this adorable picture of Jasmine. She is all ready and excited for her first Christmas in her new, forever home, where she is spoiled and loved beyond measure. It does a foster mom's heart well :)

Merry Christmas sweet Jasmine! So glad you are in your forever home and loving life! Love you sweet girl!

Phalin's Pups -- 3 Weeks

2010-12-12T19:53:00.005-05:00

I went to visit Phalin again this weekend. Her precious pups are 3 weeks old and growing like crazy....so adorable. Enjoy!

Waiting All My Life...

2010-12-08T20:13:00.003-05:00

So my husband called me tonight from Afghanistan and told me to go and listen to this song. He said he really liked the song and wanted me to hear it. Oh, how I love this man! I've been waiting all my life for him too!!!! :)

Phalin's Pups -- 2 weeks

2010-12-05T19:21:00.004-05:00

I went out to visit Phalin today. She was surprised and thrilled to see me!! Her pups are now 2 weeks old and have grown in the last week. Their eyes are now open and they are still cute and sweet pups. And of course Phalin is still an amazing mom!!!

I sat in the puppy nursery with them while Phalin let them nurse. Then Phalin came out and I spoiled her and she got to eat her dinner. I went in to check the puppies and saw how they were laying....soooooo incredibly adorable...had to capture it! Enjoy :)

I'll Be Brave This Christmas...

2010-11-30T19:05:00.001-05:00

Phalin is a mom again!

2010-11-28T16:14:00.004-05:00

Phalin who I co-own with her breeder Alice Dunn, just recently had puppies. This is her 3rd and final litter. She will now become a retired girl and enjoy the rest of her life with us. We are so excited!!!!

I went to visit her yesterday and to see her pups. They are now 1 week old and weight about 1lb each. There is 1 male (left below) and 1 female (right below).

Phalin is a wonderful mom! She is such a pro at this mom stuff!!

Phalin spent a lot of time on my lap, she obviously wanted mom time, which of course I love. She also thought she was coming home with me when I got ready to leave, which broke my heart :( But she's got a few more weeks of being a mom and then she'll be back home for the rest of her life! What a sweet girl and precious little pups!

Phalin

2010-11-17T19:27:00.003-05:00

Well, Phalin left tonight to go deliver her 3rd and final litter of puppies. We are uncertain based on a recent ultra sound exactly how many pups she will have, so it will be a surprise. She is with her breeder, Alice Dunn and after this she will officially be retired and be fully owned by GL & myself and we are thrilled and so very excited!

It's been an experience to watch her be a mom and she is a wonderful mom at that. She also raised Faith and if it weren't for that experience, I wouldn't have Faith and I can't imagine life without her. But GL & I are thrilled for Phalin to be done with her mom duties and just get to enjoy life and relax as she grows older :)

Health Day for the Cavaliers

2010-10-23T18:30:00.007-04:00

A week ago we went to the Kalamazoo Kenn*el Club for their Health Day. They had a Cardiologist there to do heart checks. Often breeders will take advantage of this, but I like to go and just have my kiddos checked out too. Heart issues are very common in the Cavalier breed (http://www.cavalierhealth.org/mitral_valve_disease.htm). Often a heart murmur is something that a Cardiologist needs to detect over a Veterinarian. Kenize had been checked out at her recent visits at MSU and I knew she was heart clear. So I wanted to have Frank, Hope and Faith checked. Alice, Phalin's breeder also planned to have her checked. So my mom helped me pack up the 4 dogs and went to Kalamazoo.

The reports were very good for us that day. All of the dogs were heart clear except Hope, she has a Grade 1 Heart Murmur (graded 1 to 6). So she is in the very early stages. It's truly not a bad report, it's something we will continue to monitor. Details regarding the disease are all in the link I put above. She is my first girl from a puppy mill and you never know their exact age. The mills always give you a date, but we never know how accurate they are. The age we were given would put her at 6 years old, but most say she looks more like 8 or so. Either way, she's my first rescue and no matter her age, she's loved! Hope is pictured below at the clinic with a complete stranger that fell in love with her. People don't often fall in love with Hope because she's very shy, stiff and stand-offish, especially with strangers. This man has rescue dogs of his own and picked her right up and she was fine. I think he held her for at least 1 hour (the clinic was a bit busy, so we waited a while). I couldn't believe it. She was so comfortable. It was so good for her! Here she is pictured below, so comfortable in a strangers arms. My precious girl...she so deserves the name of Queen Mum. (sorry the pic isn't great, it's off my phone)

Pictured below is my girl Phalin and on the right is her boy Davis. Phalin is the girl that I co-own with her breeder, Alice Dunn. Davis was from Phalin's first litter and he is handsome as ever. Every time I see him I can't believe how much he reminds me of Phalin, his eyes especially. (Again Davis' pic is from my phone) He is 2 now and maybe it's just me, but I think he looks an awful lot like his momma...what do you think?

Birthday time!

2010-10-14T19:45:00.010-04:00

We are celebrating birthday's in the Mason Household today!

Faith is 2 and Bo is 5! Happy Birthday!!!

Faith is my little miracle girl! If you haven't read her story before you can find it on this blog: http://www.kyleapoole.blogspot.com/

I started the blog when I decided to adopt Faith to journal her journey in life.

I am still amazed at her life and how hard she fought to stay alive. Her life really is worth celebrating and I'm in awe that she has turned 2 today! I'm not sure where the last 2 years have gone! She's so precious to me and she is such a spitfire! She doesn't know she has limited sight in comparison to her brothers and sisters. She has never known life any differently. She loves life and she still has such a zest for life. She will always be her daddy's "little bit"...but she by far thinks she is the big dog of the house.

I love pulling old pictures and looking back at how small she was. These first 2 pictures are when she was only 2 weeks old. She fit in the palm of my hand...sooooo tiny!!!!!

Here she is 2 months old....still pretty small, but growing for sure!
And then Faith today...2 years old! I'm amazed! I'm honored to be her mom and I love her to pieces!!!! Happy Birthday Faith! You deserve it!!!

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Bo is 5 today! We didn't have a specific date of birth for him, so last year GL & I decided that he should share a birthday with Faith. Bo is so difficult to take pictures of, so I don't have the greatest pictures of this handsome boy...but here they are.

I love this picture of him trying to fit his entire body on Faith's bed! He did it too!

Then playing ball...one of Bo's most favorite things to do!

Happy Birthday Bo! You are so handsome...you are a gentle giant...you are so good with Faith and play so well with her. She loves her big brother. You are the protector of the house...and you adore your grandpa & grandma...they spoil you endlessly! Happy Birthday handsome boy...here's to many more years ahead!

Wordless Wednesday....

2010-10-13T20:40:00.003-04:00

Almost a wordless Wednesday...this is one of my new favorite pictures. Our 2 Rubies...Faith & Frank...so cute!

Excitement!!!

2010-10-07T21:18:00.008-04:00

Daddy was home a few weeks ago on a leave during this deploy*ment. I'm not sure who was more excited to see him? Me...or the dogs!?!?!?! The dogs were thrilled! Here are a few pictures I thought I would share...

Ginger was sooooo excited she scratched GL's face pretty good by jumping all over him!
Bo...very mellow...but excited to see his Daddy.

Daddy and his 'Faithy'....if you notice she was in all the pictures...I think she was most excited to see him :)

Celebrating 1 Year!

2010-09-12T17:08:00.006-04:00

I realize this post it coming a bit late but I apologize as I've been under the weather and just not up for blogging. So this comes about a week late, but I couldn't let it go unnoticed.

Last weekend on September 4, GL & I celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary!!! It almost doesn't seem possible that it's been a year and then it feels like he's just been in my life for a long time. I was able to go down to visit GL and surprise him for our anniversary as he is currently still state-side of his dep*loyment. The weekend was interesting and one we never will forget. GL was drugged from having a migraine and I got sick with a terrible sinus infection not long after arriving! We did have a short bit of time together, which I'm so very thankful for.
I honestly can't imagine my life without this man. God has truly blessed me. I'm finally happy. I'm finally in love. I finally feel loved and accepted for who God created me to be. I love being married to GL. He is my world. I love the family that we've created. I love having him in my life. I miss him terribly right now. I know that God has a plan for our lives. I know that God brought him into my life at the perfect time, but I never imagined we'd be separated by a deploy*ment this quickly. I pray every day for his safety and that God will bring him back home to me. Even on the days that I don't know what to pray, when I can't find the words, I know God hears my heart.

There is a song I hear recently on the radio, it's called "God Gave Me You" by Dave Barnes. It really encompasses how I feel and I just wanted to share it with you.

I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me
Watch as the storm goes through
And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

There’s more here than what were seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
Ill be the flattered fool
and I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way

There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way

There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you, gave me you.
Gave me you.

To my husband GL...

I thank God so very much for you. You mean the world to me. You are such a gift and a blessing to me (and a pain in the you know what too :)...let's just be real!). I believe with all my heart that God gave me you. He knew I needed you. We've had our moments and I know those will continue. We each carry baggage with us from previous marriages, but that also has formed us into the people we are today. I don't think I could ever tell you how very much I love you...there just truly aren't words. You are my hero, my husband, my world and I love you so very much. Here's to many, many, many more wonderful years together! I love you babe!

Kenzie & MSU

2010-08-29T17:00:00.000-04:00

Kenzie and I headed to MSU to see a Dermatologist this past week. Since we adopted Kenize (last December) she has had health problems. She has had chronic ear infections for which we could never stay on top of. She had gotten to the point of hating having her ears even touched. GL & I had tried everything. She was also itching and sneezing. We recently had her thyroid tested to see if that was causing issues, but it came back negative. So finally the vet suggested we go to MSU. So Kenzie and I went there this past week. Little did I know what that had would have in store for us. I fully expected to go in for a consult and I guess I didn't know what to expect beyond that.

First the student (since it's a teaching hospital) looked over Kenzie, then the Dermatologist, Dr. Rosser came in. He was very much focused on her ears and the issues there, not so much the potential allergies. He did his physical exam and it became very clear, very quickly that based on his exam Kenzie probably has SM. For those of you who are not Cavalier lovers or familiar with the breed, that probably means nothing to you. Syringomyelia (SM) is an extremely serious condition in which fluid-filled cavities develop within the spinal cord near the brain. You can click on this link to read more about it: http://www.cavalierhealth.org/syringomyelia.htm
To know for certain she would need to have an MRI and at this point, I'm not going to do that. There is not much they can do for dogs with SM, other than a very costly surgery.

Dr. Rosser also thought she possibly might have PSOM (http://www.cavalierhealth.org/psom.htm), but he would be able to tell once he took her into surgery and was able to look into her ears. Generally, a CT scan is done to find out if PSOM is present for certain.

Before putting her under Anesthesia again he wanted to make sure she didn't have a heart murmur. To this point I have never been told that she had a murmur, which is also common in Cavaliers (http://www.cavalierhealth.org/mitral_valve_disease.htm). So he listened to her heart for a long time and then wanted to bring her over to the Cardiologist. He was gone with Kenzie for quite a few minutes and I was beginning to get nervous. This morning had already dealt some cards (diagnoses) that I was not expecting. He finally came back about 10 minutes later and the Cardiologist had looked her over and had a few extra minutes and threw in a free echo and Kenzie's heart looks great! Wonderful news!

So Kenzie was then off to go under and Dr. Rosser would look into hear ears and see what was going on. He then said to me, well, you can come back around 5pm. Leaving me with like 5 hours to kill! Wonderful! What am I going to do for 5 hours! The MSU campus was a nightmare as it was. I managed to get off campus and pull over into a gas station and start typing stuff in my GPS. I was able to locate a mall within 10 miles and figured I could at least walk around and get something to eat. It was a 'dive'...but I ate and walked around...bought a book and headed back to MSU Small Animal Clinic. About 20 minutes later Dr. Rosser comes out and says, well you will never believe what we found. EAR MITES!!!! What!?!?!? I'm sitting there with my jaw on the floor and he's explaining to me that he's never seen a case of ear mites this severe before. Wonderful! He said they are extremely rare in dogs and generally come from exposure to outdoor cats. Which means she's had this since we adopted her in December. I've always had a hunch that Kenzie probably lived outside or in a barn or something and this would confirm that. So he needed to get them cleaned out and then continue to look in her ears.

So there I sit, reading my book and feeling like I have BUGS crawling all over me! I'm freaking out! OMG...are all the other dogs going to have them too? Are they in the furniture? Carpet? OMG....freaking out! So I waited a bit longer and Dr. Rosser came back out. He was done working on Kenzie. Good news, her ear drums appears to be normal, so that would not indicate she has PSOM (though a CT would have to confirm). He feels that he has flushed the ear mites out as well as possible. He would be starting her on an aggressive treatment plan for the next 3 weeks of ear drops, meds and topicals. I talked to him about the other dogs and he indicated they could very well have the mites too. He said to contact my local vet and get a topical for them too. He said the mites can't survive off of the dog, so they do not live in carpet, furniture or me :) That made me feel better. He did say however, that the pain Kenzie has probably been experiencing from the ear mites is that of sticking a pencil in our ears continuously. OMG! I felt so bad for her. He also indicated that the mite can spread on the body and that could potentially be why she is itching her entire body. She may or may not have actual allergies. We start with trying to get rid of the mites and get her ears healed and see where we are at with that. Her care plan is a step by step treatment plan. Kenzie and I will go back for a 3 week check-up for Dr. Rosser to check her over again.

Shortly after we finished talking the student we had seen was out with a still very groggy Kenzie and all her paperwork. I packed her up in the car and we were not very far from the clinic and she was shaking just terrible. They had told me that she would be cold from the Anesthetic and being wet from the ear flushing. Thankfully, I had thrown 4-5 little fleece blankets in the car. So she looked like this...

Sorry, the picture isn't great, I took it with my cell phone. I was so worried about her. Not to mention the guilt that I felt knowing she has had ear mights this long! The pain that she's been in. The fact that we didn't find this earlier and hoping we can get it taken care of for her now. Then the fear of all the other dogs having the mites now too. They all have had bad ear infections lately, which could be a sign of the mites. So on the road I called our local vet for the topical for all of them and was able to pick it up yet that night. Kenzie was cold in the car for a little while, but finally warmed up thanks to all the blankets and sun! We arrive home and she was tired most of the night. I went to put the drops in her ears and of course it went over as well as it has in the past...not well at all!!!! I a thinking great, what in the world am I going to do. So my parents came over and we managed to get them in with the 3 of us. Not sure how much I got in, but hopefully something.

The following day I spoke with Dr. Rooser again to discuss the trouble of getting drops in her ears and he said her ears still probably very much hurt her. So he was going to call in a sedative med for me to give her an hour prior to the drops and then it should help make her more calm for the drops. Then within an hour after that it should wear off. So we did that pill this morning. An hour after I gave it to her when it's supposed to be at it's peak, I tried her first drops and noticed no improvement from these meds. I wondered if she even took the pill or if she'd spit it out in her crate. Then about 2 hours later I could tell it had kicked in, just after it should be supposedly done. I had to leave for an appt, so I put her in her kennel to sleep, but was worried about her. My mom went to check on her and she was still really stoned and couldn't really walk well. A couple hours later I arrived back home and she was still stoned and had totally wet herself in her kennel, and I don't think she had a clue. So I am not liking this medication for her at all. I felt so guilty for 'drugging' her in the first place, but he assured me that many people have to do this with their dogs for the first couple of weeks just to let the ears heal, since it's so painful for the dog. But I can't justify giving her a pill that going to drug her this bad for that long.

She sat on my lap for the longest time yesterday, my heart aches for her and I just hope and pray we can get on top of all of this, finally, for her. Here is her precious, groggy face...

Finally, last evening she snapped out of it...aka...the drug finally wore off! So needless to say I did not give her another pill last night to get her drops in. I gave her a bath since she was a bit nasty from being under and then wetting herself while on that stupid sedative medication. Then mom came over and helped me give her the drops, she tolerated it more. This morning she did even better with it. So I am just hoping and praying it's starting to not hurt so bad and she'll let me give her the drops for the next couple weeks.

In the past couple weeks she's really become a mama's girl. She is generally an outgoing girl, but not clingy. But the past couple weeks she's wanted to follow me around the house and sit on my lap...I of course love it. The past few days it's been definitely that way. Not sure if I scared her to pieces by bringing her to MSU or what, but she's my girl. I wonder how her personality might potentially change once we can get her feeling better. She already is a sweet girl, but she's clearly been in pain for quite sometime...I just can't imagine.

So that's the dog update for now...I'll post again once we have Kenzie's 3 week check up! Hopefully we are making great progress for this sweet girl!

New Blog

2010-08-11T15:16:00.002-04:00

If any of you are interested in following our new PRIVATE blog for the duration of GL's deplo*yment then please contact me at kylea_duke@hotmail.com with the email address in which you'd like to be registered under. I will no longer be posting deployme*nt updates on this blog.

Thanks!

New Pool!!!

2010-08-09T20:01:00.006-04:00

We finally got Ginger her new pool!!! My SIL Andrea found them at Wal*Mart...even though I had been there, she found them. So we went and got Ginger a few more. They are much bigger than she had before! She is loving it...of course!!!

Now time to dry off....she likes to lay in the sun....

It's so tough to be a dog!!! I love her ear :)

Oh the fun, happy life that Ginger leads!!!

Pool time!

2010-08-02T20:12:00.004-04:00

Ginger loves water! After she discovered water at Dumont Lake she won't stay out of it. We took the pool out since it's been so hot and she of course loves it!!!

She even likes the pool with no water in it! Silly girl!!

However, she has wrecked her pool by digging at it and it has holes! Bummer! I've been searching all over to find her a new one and of course I can't find out...so I'll keep looking!

Catching up...

2010-07-18T15:49:00.005-04:00

Sorry, I know it's been a while since I last updated. You know it's bad when people are giving you a hard time because your blog hasn't been updated...my apologies...I must say my mind and time have been elsewhere...with my husband. We've just had a lot going on lately. I've not taken the time to stop and update, plus I've been hesitant to post too much on this public blog. I have a private blog in the works and it will be private. For those of you interested, I will post the information about the private blog on this blog once I have the details and it's ready to go. I will not use this blog to discuss GL's depl*oyment (sorry to disappoint those of you who the information does not apply to...you know who you are). For our friends and family that wish to remain updated during GL's depl*oyment this new blog is for you and we appreciate your support.

Ok...what have we been up to?

I left employment at my job at Zeeland Community Hos*pital on June 18 after being there for 8 years. I accepted employment with North Ottawa Community Heal*th System in Grand Haven as their Medical Staff Coordinator. It's basically what I was doing at Zeeland, but it's a step up for me. So that's been very exciting for us too!! I'm thrilled to have the amazing opportunity and have enjoyed the opportunity to advance in my career. It comes with a bit of change for me, but they say change is good. I'm not sure the timing of it is most wonderful, but it will keep me busy.
GL finally traded in his crotch rocket for a cruiser bike!!!! Yippie!!! I'm so thrilled. He found a new cruiser bike and I love it too, so we have a new bike! It's great!
We spent 2 weeks at Dumont Lake in Allegan. My mom rented a cottage on Dumont and we were out there with family and friends. Kyle, Andrea & Ian came for the 2nd week and stayed out there. Ian had a blast with Uncle G. GL mostly stayed out there with Bo & Ginger and they loved every minute of it. Ginger got her first experience with a lake and once she discovered it, we could barely keep her out of it. She would just swim for hours and hours on end!!! That dog has some serious muscle tone!!! We also enjoyed a number of our friends coming out with their kids and spending time with us...The Hofland Family (minus Chris, who had to work, we missed you), The Trevino Family and The Scott Family...we so enjoyed our time with each of your families. You are each very important to us and thank you for coming and spending time with us! I put together a slide show of some of the pictures and that will be at the bottom of this post...hope you enjoy them. I have a couple of video clips that I'll have to get posted too.
Phalin celebrated her 5th birthday on June 22.
Hope had to have another dental cleaning and lost 11 teeth. This poor girl doesn't have many teeth left, but she's managing well, as they often do. She's had poor teeth since I got her, thanks the the puppy mill environment!! Bless her heart, hopefully she's feeling better now.
Frank, our 2nd foster, is a permanent member of the Mason family. We just truly love having him with us and felt he was here to stay. So we decided to adopt him and we are thrilled! He will turn 7 in August and we just felt he deserved to not have to move to yet another home, he fits in here like he has just always been here.
Yesterday GL and I had the privilege of joining Michelle & Kevin to celebrate their wedding day. Once of GL's dear friends that is depl*oying with him just got married. We were excited to share in their special day and we wish them years of great happiness. Not to mention...she had the exact wedding dress as me from our wedding in Sept...what are the odds of that!?!?! :)

Well, that's all I can think of for now, hopefully I have covered everything. GL & I are just busy trying to enjoy life together and with our 4-legged kiddos. Here are the pictures from our vacation at the cottage...enjoy!

Canine Co plus Frank

2010-06-08T20:45:00.005-04:00

I realize I haven't updated in a while, sorry! Here are a few pics of the dogs. Here is one of my new favorite pictures. Bo and Frank (our foster) have become good buddies. You will often find them laying on the couch next to each other. Love it! GL is so totally in love with Frank, he is sooo easy to have in our home. GL has loved Frank from the moment he brought him here. GL also keeps coming up with excuses as to why we shouldn't put him available for adoption on the rescues website yet :)

Then Miss Ginger has decided that she likes Faith's bed. She has to be sure to get all of her body on the bed!
And then Bo & Ginger, who are also best of buds. I was prepping food in the kitchen and they were helping me....I just thought it was cute!

We are doing well. At the moment the boys are on the couch with GL and all the girls are piled in the chair with me! Such wonderful company and such loved 4-legged kiddos of ours.

Memorial Day 2010

2010-05-31T11:12:00.004-04:00

It is the
VETERAN,
not the preacher,
who has given us freedom of religion.

It is
the VETERAN,
not the reporter,
who has given us freedom of the press.

It is
the VETERAN,
not the poet,
who has given us freedom of speech.

It is
the VETERAN,
not the campus organizer,
who has given us freedom to assemble.

It is
the VETERAN,
not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is
the VETERAN,
not the politician,
Who has given us the right to vote.

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Today might we pause in the midst of the busyness of life and remember how America became the land of the free and the home of the brave! With tear filled eyes today I salute our Military and remember our Veterans. God bless each and every one of you and your families as well!

'Lord, keep our servicemen and women safe, whether they serve at home or overseas. Hold them in your loving hands and protect them as they protect us.'

Let's all keep those currently serving and those who have gone before in our thoughts and prayers. They are the reason for the many freedoms we enjoy.

'In God We Trust.'
If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under!

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Today I honor my husband...we have freedom because he fights, he serves, he lays down his life each and every time he goes out to serve. Because of my husband and all Military we can celebrate today, the home of the free because of the brave! We so often take freedom for granted. In times of economic struggles, we still have not lost our freedom! Thank you God and thank you to all who have served and continue to serve. Thank you and God bless!

P.S. I love you babe, I have the utmost respect for what you do. I don't look forward to this upcoming dep*loyment in the least, but I'm praying God will bring us through it. I know you love your job, and I support you. I don't want to let you go to go fight for my freedom, but I will. I will stand by your side, though I will never understand what it takes to be a Solider or to fight in war. I will love you with I have inside of me and I will be a very, very proud Army wife!

Meet Frank!

2010-05-27T20:11:00.006-04:00

Frank is our 2nd foster. He is a 6 year old Ruby Cavalier (boy, I figured that was obvious with the name of Frank). He has been with us for 1 week now and we are enjoying having him here. He is such an easy house guest and fits in just fine with all the others. He tries to ~~hump~~ flirt with the girls sometimes but they are quick to put him in his place. Which is accepts and moves along. He's a very, very sweet boy! We've had him to the vet and he's all squared away health wise now, other than needing to drop a few pounds (oh, don't we all)...he's doing wonderful!

We are fostering him through Cavalier Rescue USA.

He is so in love with GL! And GL is so in love with Frank! They have been best buds since the day Frank came!

And Frank loves to shower GL with kisses!
Welcome Frank! We are enjoying being your foster mom and dad!

Grandpa & Kenzie

2010-05-25T22:11:00.000-04:00

Just after her bath...Grandpa sure likes Kenzie!

Happy Birthday!

2010-05-19T21:42:00.001-04:00

I have to take a quick moment to wish my handsome husband a very happy birthday!!!!

We just returned from dinner, which was wonderful. We are celebrating more on Saturday with family and friends.

So more to come...

For now...happy birthday babe. Hope your day was awesome. I love you so very much!

2 weeks

2010-05-18T18:27:00.005-04:00

Two weeks ago today my grandma went into the arms of Jesus at 11:20 am. My grandma is now restored, healthy, and in perfect form. I know she’s talking, singing, dancing (yes, I’m still going to insist that she will dance in Heaven) and happy to be with her Maker. I’m quite sure in fact that is thrilled to be in Heaven.

I lost my other grandma 12 years ago and it was not easy then. It’s not much easier this time going through this as an adult either. Now both of my grandma’s are in Heaven together. I’d like to believe they’ve found each other, embraced and then my grandma started to update my other grandma on everything that’s been going on here on earth since she went to Heaven. I’d like to believe that she’s telling her about GL…even though she never really got to know him, she knows enough and I think she’s telling her. I think she’s telling her about Ian, her great-grandson that she never got to meet….but will meet one day in Heaven. (if you don’t agree with me, that’s perfectly fine…just keep it to yourself and don’t burst my bubble!)

While I am truly happy for my grandma that she’s in Heaven and peacefully, no longer in pain…it’s a loss here on this earth. She was a vibrant woman. She was loving, kind, caring, giving, compassionate, talented, detailed, organized, funny, and had oddities like the rest of us. She left this earth and went to her Heavenly home at the age of 78. She and my grandfather had just had their 58th wedding anniversary just 2 days prior to her death. My grandma was surrounded by my grandfather, my mom and my aunt when she passed into the arms of Jesus.

I have watched this dear grandma of mine fight a form of dementia called Lewy Body Disease for 6 years. I always knew that dementia was a horrible disease, but I never knew how horrible until watching a family member walk the path. It’s a horrible process to watch the brain slowly start to shut down, literally. This kind of stuff is hereditary and honestly, that scares me. My grandma would’ve been just sick if she saw herself these last few months. My grandma no longer looked like herself, this disease had robbed everything from her. God has now given that all back to her.

GL & I were home for the visitation and burial for the following morning, but unfortunately missed the funeral due to our flights leaving for vacation. I had tried to change our flights and of course the airline had no Bereavement policy and we could cancel our tickets and order new ones! Ha, we couldn’t afford that. So with my families blessing, we left on our trip missing the funeral. I think I still feel an element of guilt, but I know grandma would’ve wanted us to go. I think she knew GL was getting dep*loyed and she knew he was going to fight for peace. Remember my post on that? (click here to read it)

The visitation was a good time of fellowship, remembrance, laughs and tears. It was wonderful to talk to people that knew grandma for years. To know people were praying for us. To see how many lives she had touched…there were a lot of people there. I had 2 extended family members share with me that grandma had talked to them about GL! Tears flooded my eyes. I had always felt that she never knew him, that she couldn’t grasp who he was. But they felt so differently. She knew him. Thank you Jesus for those moments!

Her burial the following morning, and was, well, just as a burial normally is. However…my grandma’s are now buried within about 10 feet of each other. My parents had told me they were “close” but I didn’t realize that close. It was difficult, it was like reliving Grandma Poole’s burial. But I found comfort knowing their earthly bodies were that “close”. It reaffirmed for me that they were in Heaven together, chatting, laughing, singing….yes, they both loved to sing! Thank you Jesus for that.

I received a card and it so touched my heart, I wanted to share the words with you…

God’s gift of time

we all need a time to grieve-
quiet time for reflection
to sift through memories
and come to grips with what has happened.

we all need a time for tears
not for the one who is now
at peace in heaven,
but for ourselves as we realize
that things will never be the same.

we all need a time to just “be,”
when we can open ourselves to God
and let the reassurance
of His everlasting love
start to heal our broken hearts.

Then Sunday in church on a sermon about Heaven (how appropriate) this verse caught me...

Revelation 21:4&5 says And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.”

Did you catch that? That’s where my excitement comes for my grandma…no more tears, no more sorrow, no crying!!! No more pain!! ALL things become new! She’s new, she’s perfect, she’s more beautiful than ever and she’s happy. Thank you Jesus…might I find peace in those words.

My grandma will never be forgotten, her memory will live with us for many years to come. She has blessed my life and I'm thankful for her sake that she's in a much better place. It's what she deserved.

I'll leave you with 2 more recent pictures. This first one was Christmas Eve 2009.
And New Years 2010 all sporting our Army support gear! Even grandpa! Awesome!
Love you gram, always will. I'm so happy that you are healthy, happy, healed, restored, singing, talking and having a blast. I miss you!! But you are in a better place and I can't wait to see you again some day.

Jasmine update

2010-05-17T14:24:00.010-04:00

I wanted to provide an update on Jasmine, our first foster. She went to her forever home May 4, just prior to us leaving on vacation and also the same day that my grandmother passed away (so it was a rather emotional day for me!). Jasmine's new parents are wonderful and she is spoiled like crazy. I often receive updates from her mom (or pester her mom for updates!) and Jas is doing awesome! With their permission I share these pictures with you

Enjoy (they make my heart smile!)...

Jasmine has a brother Jake, 10 1/2 year old Rot that is fighting bone cancer. God bless your remaining precious day dear boy. And a sister, Daisy, who will be 2 this summer.

This is Jasmine pictured below in her new forever home and this is now one of my favorite pictures of Jas, she looks great!

Jas lovin' on her mom! Love it!
Jas spoiling her dad very early on, this is huge for Jas! Love it!
Jas in her kennel that we sent with her. She has free roam of the house now with the kennel being available for her whenever she wants it. She is doing great. That's Daisy on her right.
Jasmine is now spoiled with daily walks! She even has a new car seat just like Daisy. This is a picture from their first trip to the park in Jasmine's new car seat! Again, love it!!!
Jas enjoying the ride...

Jasmine (left) and Daisy (right) on their walk in the park.

And Jasmine with her ears blowing in the wind, tail up, and her adorable little trot. Can you see how happy she is? I can!!! Again, love it!!!

Jasmine now sleeps in the big bed at night with her mom and dad, right in between them. She still is a snuggle bug and her new mom and dad are totally in love with her - which is just wonderful for me! Their excitement and love for her....ahh, you guessed it...makes my heart smile and again, love it!

I was so afraid that Jasmine was going to backtrack when she went home with her new parents, as most dogs do. However, Jasmine has done wonderful transiting to her new home. She fits right in and has adjusted SO well with her new family. This is just awesome for all of us!!!! I could not have asked for a better home for Jas and more loving people!!! Jasmine has come so far in the time she spent with us and it was just a pleasure to foster this sweet girl. She's now in the forever home that she so deserves. Jasmine is truly a gift from God (as her name means) and I wish you the best Jas, live a long and happy life....you will always hold a special place in your foster mom's heart!

Thank you Dan & Brenda for providing this special girl her forever home and loving her with excitment! May God bless you with many years with this precious little doll!

Phalin is home!

2010-05-16T14:14:00.004-04:00

Our Phalin is home after raising her 2nd litter of pups. I picked her up last night and brought her home and she has resumed her position on the back of the chair. We are thrilled to have her back home. She raised 2 sweet little (ok, not little at all they are big pups) girls and did a wonderful job yet again.

So now our Canine Company is back to it's normal self! Ahhh....it feels great! :)

MIA????

2010-05-15T16:04:00.004-04:00

Where have we been???? FLORIDA!!!!

Yes, GL & I took a much needed vacation! It was an extended honeymoon, birthday celebrating, pre-de*ployment time together, vacation :)

Here are some pics (sorry, didn't get a lot of pics, not sure why)

It was in the 90's when we arrived and high 80's most of the time...ugh! HOT!!!! However, we missed some cold, rainy weather at home.

We stayed on Disne*y at the All Sta*r Resort. My mom took care of the dogs for us, THANK YOU MOM!!!!

We had a great time! Relaxed...slept in...enjoying the time off of work and life...went out for great meals...I splurged on some wonderful drinks...hung out at the pool...went to the parks...watched submarine races (opps, sorry, I'll keep this G rated! hehe)...relaxed some more...shopped...bought a bunch of cool Nemo stuff for Ian (he's spoiled)...went to Goofy's Candy Store and got candy...went to the pool again...watched tv...were totally lazy when we wanted to be...had breakfast at 10:30am...relaxed...laughed...texted friends pics...checked in on the dogs of course...and fell even more in love with my husband. The time was priceless...we needed the time just the 2 of us...I needed time to decompress after my grandma passing. I'm so thankful for the vacation. It was truly a blessing for us!!!

Jasmine is HOME!

2010-05-05T15:01:00.002-04:00

Our sweet first foster Jasmine went to her forever home yesterday!!! It's been an exciting opportunity to meet Dan & Brenda. They are totally in love with Jas and she will forever be spoiled! As her foster mom, I couldn't have asked for a better, more loving home for her. Thank you God! Jasmine truly is a gift from God!!!!

Just a brief note...my grandma passed away yesterday morning and is now in Heaven with Jesus. I will share more later, but I'm going to be away from the blog for a bit for family matters. I'd appreciate your continued prayer support!

Temporary Home...

2010-04-26T18:16:00.001-04:00

Temporary Home Lyrics by Carrie Underwood

Little boy, 6 years old
A little too used to bein' alone.
Another new mom and dad,another school,
Another house that'll never be home.
When people ask him how he likes this place...
He looks up and says, with a smile upon his face,

"This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong.
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through.
This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going.
I'm not afraid because I know this is my
Temporary Home."

Young mom on her own.
She needs a little help, got nowhere to go.
She's lookin' for a job, lookin' for a way out,
Because a half-way house will never be a home.
At night she whispers to her baby girl,
"Someday we'll find a place here in this world."

"This is our temporary home.
It's not where we belong.
Windows and rooms that we're passin' through.
This is just a stop, on the way to where we're going.
I'm not afraid because I know this is our
Temporary Home."

Old man, hospital bed,
The room is filled with people he loves.
And he whispers don't cry for me,
I'll see you all someday.
He looks up and says, "I can see God's face."

"This is my temporary Home
It's not where I belong.
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through.
This was just a stop,on the way to where I'm going.
I'm not afraid because I know... this was
My temporary home."

This is our temporary home.

One of everything...

2010-04-21T20:40:00.016-04:00

Ok, so once again I’ve failed to be a faithful blogger. So sorry…so it’s time for many, many updates!

First off…a few pictures from my visit with Phalin and pups back on April 11. They were just learning to drink Goat's milk.

My mom and I went to an awesome concert this past Friday night to see Point of Grace & Mark Schultz. Wonderful, wonderful concert! I was touched by one of Mark’s songs. I’ve heard it many times before, but considering where I am at in life now, I balled the entire time he sang!

I’ve never seen Mark in concert before and he is just a funny guy. Extremely talented and was great to hear in person!

Point of Grace…I have listened to them for years, especially back in high school when I sang in a quartet and we sang a ton of their songs. Point of Grace is now a trio and it was still wonderful to listen to them. I loved one of their new songs…

Then Saturday some friends of mine came up from Indiana, the ones that threw the puppy shower for Faith last year. So I got to hang out with them for a long weekend and it was just a wonderful time together. I took Monday off of work and spent an extra day with them and it was just a great time of laughter, girlfriends and dogs!!!!

We went to see Phalin on April 18 and of course the pups are still adorable…see?

I came home from being gone a few days and GL had taken up the nasty carpet in the hallway and finished off the wood flooring. He was hard at work while I was gone and it was beautiful. He is so talented! Thanks for all your work babe, it looks amazing!

Then I went home for lunch on Tuesday to let the dogs out and GL had put all our new outdoor lights out in the backyard and Ginger had already gotten a hold of one of them and DESTROYED it.

This dog is just something else. She digs…she chews…she digs…she destroys…but she is the biggest love bug in the world. I wouldn’t trade her for the world even though she upsets me just a bit when she destroys things. I know ‘things’ are replaceable, so it’s not that. It’s more a fear factor for me. Heading down the path of Remi. I can’t go there again.

Speaking of Remi…I seem to have my days when it comes to Remi’s loss. There are some days when it just still hits me hard. Some days when I walk into the dog room and see her shadow box and I just loose it. And then other days I’m perfectly ok. Ginger is filling the void of Remi. Remi will never be replaced, but Ginger is helping us heal. So, here’s my story….I’m taking my girlfriends shopping to TJ*Maxx (which is a store that I hate, but they wanted to go there, so being the good friend that I am, I took them...hehe)…we are walking around the store and I see a gal that just looks really familiar but I can’t figure out why (I hate that!). She says to me, “Kylea right?”. I said “yes, you look so familiar”. She said “I work for the vet office…I took care of Remi…I’m so sorry…she will never be forgotten”. Choking back tears, I thanked her for caring for her and remembering her. I shared that we had since adopted Ginger and that Remi will always be in our heart and never forgotten for us either. The conversation was done and I turned quickly down an aisle to hide my tears. I turned down the aisle with dog stuff. Oh please Lord, don’t make it worse! I don’t even know the gals name, though I did recognize her when she told me where she worked. I’m thankful that nearly 4 months after Remi’s death they still remember her. There just aren’t words to describe it. I have tears just flowing down my face as I type this, because it was an unexpected moment that caught me off guard, but also touched my heart. Remi will never be forgotten…

Jasmine…our sweet foster girl has found her forever home and no, it’s not with us. I was contacted by a wonderful couple that was very interested in Jasmine. We recently did a home visit for them to meet Jasmine and everything went perfect! They are just totally in love with Jasmine. She will be loved and cared for her entire life. Jasmine is one lucky little girl for us to have found this family. GL & I will both miss Jasmine, but we both feel very comfortable with this couple and we are so excited for them and for Jasmine!!! Jasmine has truly been a blessing for us, we have most definitely enjoyed fostering her. We could not have asked for a more perfect first foster. I’m happy to say that we have not “failed fostering 101” as so many people do, though we were extremely close!!! This will open up the doors for us to foster another dog in need and for that I’m thankful as well. Jasmine will go to her forever home on May 4…so I have a few more days to spoil her :)

My grandma…I haven’t seen her in about a week, I need to go visit. My mom shared with me that she is continuing to slip away. I just pray God will take her peacefully. But during my last visit God provided another moment for my grandmother and I. I arrived to see her and her eyes were tightly shut, which is a common thing for her lately. I tried talking to her, telling her who I was and asking her to open her eyes. She briefly opened her eyes and looked at me with a total blank stare, but at least I got to see her eyes. When I was getting ready to leave, I told her goodbye and told her I loved her, she told me she loved me too, which we often don’t even get that much anymore. So feeling blessed for those words, I went to leave. I got near the door to leave and my grandma said, “hey, come here”. So I walked back to her bedside. She then said to me “when does that husband of yours leave?”. I didn’t know if she knew who she was talking to, or just talking out loud and not making sense. So I responded “he is leaving this summer”. She then said, “so then he has a bit of time yet”. I said “yes, he does”. Then the words that struck me the most, she then said to me “then he’s going to go fight for peace”. I don’t know that I even responded to her, but that was all she said. I left her room in shock. Did she really know what she was talking about? She was so right on the money with what she said to me! I got to my car and just cried. I still couldn’t believe it. God had given us another moment when even though I didn’t think she had a clue who I was, she said something so correct, so accurate, so perfect. She doesn’t even talk in complete sentences, but the words she was able to muster out where a gift from God. She never opened her eyes, she never looked at me, she never said my name or his, but for that small moment she knew my husband, the love of my life. Oh how I wish he would’ve came into my life sooner, so he couldn’t met my ‘real’ grandma and so that she could’ve known him. God’s timing is perfect and I know He has a plan. I know that in His plan the timing of GL coming into my life and the timing of my grandma going very much downhill was exactly how He had planned it all. While I might not understand it, I’ll be thankful for it. I thank God for the small moments He gives me with my grandma and what a blessing they are to me. My memories of her growing up with forever be in my heart and soul. It pains me to see her in this sort of state, this isn’t her, this isn’t how she’d want to be…but God has the perfect plan and I have to trust and have faith in Him.

Ok, well if you are still reading you've made it through this huge update :)

Thankful Thursday...my grandma

2010-04-08T14:32:00.000-04:00

My grandma has been fighting a form of dementia called Lewy Body Dementia for nearly 6 years; it causes hallucinations and Parkinson’s-like-symptoms in addition to the classic symptoms of dementia. Not until the last couple years did she start to go downhill much faster and within the last year, it’s been a fast down slope. She was living at home with my grandfather caring for her up until she was moved to Hospice House on March 26. It’s been more than difficult to watch her slip away day by day. I always knew that dementia was a terrible disease, but watching your family member first hand is indescribable. I watched my Grandma Poole fight leukemia and ultimately pass away 12 years ago. However, as sick as she was, she could always carry a conversation and knew who I was. This situation with my grandma now is just a completely different process, a completely different grief and loss, a completely different experience.

GL & I visited with my grandparents in their home probably a month or so ago and I want to share a moment from our visit.

**I wrote this part just after this visit with her, so her ‘state’ has changed since I wrote this, but at the time of our visit, this was the circumstances…
Let me preface this by saying my grandmother for the most part no longer knows who we are anymore. She can no longer carry a conversation that makes any sort of sense. She can’t put a sentence together. She sees things/people and often talks to them. She fusses with things in her hands, such as Kleenex, her blanket, or nothing. She often stares into space with a blank look on her face. She has the mentality of a very small child. I don’t say these things to sound harsh, but I want you to know her condition. So GL & I stopped to visit with my grandparents, my parents where there as well. We walked in and said hello and didn’t get much response from my grandmother, which is usual. A few minutes after our arrival all of the sudden my grandmother says “is Kylea here?”. My reply was simple, “yes, grandma I’m right here” and I waved to her. She just simply said “ok”. It was that small moment that made my heart smile and caused me to cry the entire way home after our visit. My grandmother for a small, very brief moment remembered me. Something in her brain clicked and she recognized my voice and knew it was me. I can’t even begin to explain what a huge blessing that was to me. Those are the moments I so very much cherish right now. I know my grandmother will never return to ‘normal’. I know she will never improve, I know that her condition will only worsen. I didn’t take that small moment as a ray of hope that life was improving for her, I took that moment as a huge gift from God. For that second that she recognized my voice, she couldn’t even find me in the small room, but she knew it was me, it was Kylea. I can’t tell you what a blessing that was for me. I have tears flowing down my face as I type!

My grandmother was very involved in our lives growing up. We went to their cottage up north almost every weekend during the summers. She would often babysit my little brother when I was at school. She was always taking care of us, me, my brother, and my cousins. She loved us dearly. I have such wonderful memories of her growing up. I can even imitate some of her unique traits (which only my family will understand). She was a woman of compassion and kindness. She made home cooked meals. She was always knitting or reading a book. She worked and then volunteered for many years for a bible organization. She regularly went to church and sang in the choir. She was sharp as a tack. My grandfather could get us lost on a trip and she’d be able to find us a way back out, without a map or directions. She had very keen sense of direction. She was smart and giving and she put up with my grandfather for many long years! My grandmother is no longer in this physical body that remains, the person that doesn’t recognize her family, that can’t care for herself, that talks to the wall. A disease has taken my grandmother and she’s no longer with us. I’m ok with that. I cherish the memories I have of my real grandmother. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the person she is now, I will always love her, but that’s it, it’s just not ‘her’ anymore. I knew this disease was awful, but watching it first hand is truly disheartening. But through it all, God gave her & I a moment, a minute, or probably more like 5 seconds, where she knew me and I cherish that more than words could ever explain!

Back to where we are now…on March 26 when we moved grandma to Hospice, she seemed to recognize me that day, or at least my name and my presence. She knew when I would leave the room, or if I came back and she heard my voice, she’d say “Kylea?”. I haven’t had a day with her since then that she’s even known me. We have seen her go downhill tremendously in the past 10 days. She has lost any and all communication skills. She will talk but she doesn’t make sense. She is eating some, but not normal amounts of food and she must be fed. It is becoming increasingly difficult for the staff to move her, it requires 2 people to move her at any given time as she can no longer support herself or assist. She is in the final stages of dementia, which we know is a terminal disease. Dementia will ultimately take her life if another complication does not arise in the meantime and take her. She is at risk of developing an infection or pneumonia and these things would very much accelerate her decline. The next area of concern is her ability to swallow; we are already beginning to see a decline in this function already. She will be remaining at Hospice House of Holland. She is receiving excellent care there as well as being in a beautiful private room.

I sat with her the other night and we listened to Ken Wadley’s CD of Hymns. I asked her if she could hear the music and she told me ‘no’. Not sure if she could or not. She has always loved music. She always loved to sing and I know she knew these Hymns. I sat in the quietness of her room listening to the piano of Ken’s CD and watching my grandma sleep. I listened to the Hymn “Great is Thy Faithfulness”. I sang the words in my head, thought of my grandma singing the song and I watched her lie in that Hospice bed and I prayed “Sweet Jesus please just take her home”. I feel guilty for publically admitting that I prayed that prayer for her, but I want more than anything for her to be free from pain, for her to be restored fully, for her body to be perfect, for her mind to be perfect, for her to be at peace. That is something this world cannot offer her, only God in Heaven above can do that.

As my mom said in the CarePage update, only God knows what the days ahead will bring. I think of the song by Chris Rice that talks about God knowing the number of our days. It’s so true. Only God knows. No doctor, no family member, none of us know the number of days my grandma has left on this earth. Once again I am reminded that God has a plan for our lives. Though I do not understand His plan with my grandma at this time, I have to trust in Him and His will for her.

Grandma, I am so thankful for the many memories we share. I am thankful and look forward to the day in Heaven when we will be reunited and you will be fully restored. I know you are still on this earth with us now, but you really aren’t ‘here’ and I’m ok with that. But either way, I’ll continue to visit and thank God for the small blessings. I will forever cling to the memories and years we had together. I will forever thank God for your unending love and support throughout my life. I thank God that the nurse at Hospice the other night told me I looked like you, I consider that a compliment. I thank God for the Christian example of a Godly woman you have been to me. I thank you for praying for me for so many years. I thank you for loving me. I’m honored to be your only granddaughter. We had a wonderful bond for many years. God blessed me with time with you growing up. And I will forever know in my heart that you love me even when in times like now you are unable to express it. I love you so very, very much and I pray that in your heart you know that too!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-04-07T21:42:00.003-04:00

Faith's Ophthalmology Appointment

2010-04-06T18:42:00.005-04:00

We had Faith’s 6 month Ophthalmology re-check yesterday with Dr. Ramsey at The Animal Ophthalmology Center near Lansing, MI. Her appointment went well and Dr. Ramsey continues to be very happy with the vision we have been able to retain for Faith in her left eye. She still does not have vision in her right eye and that will not change. Her vision in her left eye does seem to be more peripheral rather than direct. We discussed that she also does not have depth perception due to only have limited vision out of one eye. This is noticeable in new situations or places for Faith when she needs to go up or down steps. At home where she is most comfortable you would never know she had limited vision!!! She flies around and is most definitely top dog!

Faith continues to amaze me with how very far she’s has come! She definitely beat the odds and loves life! She is an absolute joy to have and both GL & I just love her to pieces. She loves nothing more than to play with Ginger, but she will play with Hope, Phalin and she’s even trying to teach Kenzie & Jasmine how to play! She has developed an absolutely gorgeous coat and she can snore like you would just not believe! She loves her daddy and she is no longer quick to snuggle, she is always on the go! She was in snuggle mode yesterday for her appointment, so I was taking full advantage of it!!!! She had learned that if she barks like she needs to go out to potty about 5am or so, then she’ll end up spinning circles outside our bedroom door because she wants to come in bed with us! Sneaky or not so sneaky little girl!!! Or maybe it’s spoiled little girl :)

Here is a picture of daddy and his little bit while we were waiting for Dr. Ramsey.

And for laughs...here is daddy and Faith at her appt this time last year....does daddy look any different!?!?!?!?

365 days...Easter...Phalin...

2010-04-04T20:17:00.016-04:00

365 days....ago today GL and I had our fist date! Actually right now as I type, we were on that 20-hour date! It just doesn't seem possible!

Here we are last Easter, just 1 week after our first date...

Then today, 1 year later...

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Happy Easter...Christ is Risen Today!!!! In all the craziness of life, may we never forget the real reason we celebrate Easter! They showed this video at the end of church this morning...

We went to a wonderful service at church this morning, then lunch with my family and then over to Hospice House to visit with my grandparents.

My bunny patch dessert....so cute!

Showing the dessert to grandma...

GL giving grandma a hard time....

Ian enjoying the playroom at Hospice House...so nice!!!

We have a CarePage set up for my grandma, if you'd like to follow things there, please click here.

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I went to visit Phalin tonight as it's been like 2 weeks since we last saw her. I was missing her terribly! It was so nice to sit and spend time with her tonight. Her 2 pups are growing like crazy and still absolutely adorable. And of course Phalin is still a wonderful mom!

More updates....

2010-03-28T13:11:00.007-04:00

Well, I promised about 2 weeks ago that I would provide further updates and I’ve failed to do so. So here is my best at an update, sorry for the delay…life has been a bit busy and now to top it off I got slammed with a sinus infection and am feeling pretty darn awful!

First – Phalin…she is the girl that I co-own with her breeder. She had her 2nd litter of pups on Monday, March 8. She had a total of 4 pups, but 2 of them unfortunately did not survive. The 2 remaining pups are both girls, one tri and one blenheim. We’ve actually been able to visit with her three times now since she had the pups, she was thrilled to see us. It’s rather funny, she almost seems bored with ‘just’ 2 pups to care for vs her 6 pups last time plus Faith equaling 7 total. Alice said that once again Phalin is a wonderful mom. Here are a couple of pics from our visit…
We had hoped to go visit her today actually, but I'm feeling way too awful to go anywhere. So hopefully we'll be able to see her soon and get more updated pictures as they are growing like crazy now and their eyes are open. They are beautiful and Phalin is of course, a wonderful mom.

Second – Remi’s sister…I mentioned that we received word that one of Remi’s sisters was returned to the SPCA. After much discussion GL & I agreed that we couldn’t adopt her. After we saw pictures of her, she was so much like our precious Remi. Unbenouned to me GL went to see Nala at an adoption event. He said she was just like Remi. I am thrilled to report that just days later she was already adopted. It’s a sigh of relief for us and a sign that we weren’t meant to have her. I hope and pray this is finally her forever home and that she is loved for many, many years!

Third – my grandmother…If you read my previous post you'll know that she is currently in a Hospice House for 5 days. Which after a meeting yesterday with her social worker and RN, they've decided to extend that to a 30 day stay at this time. She did indeed break her hand from her fall and hit her head (this all happened at home, prior to getting into Hospice). We spent a long time in the ER on Friday evening with her getting everything taken care of. It's so difficult with her because she really can't tell you where it hurts, nor can she rate her pain. She was in decent spirits despite what she'd gone through and she seemed to know whenever I'd leave the room. She was in-tune to where I was that day. I've not seen her again since we got her settled late Friday night in Hospice as I've not been feeling well. I am relieved to know she's there and getting excellent care. This is the break that my grandfather needed and also the increased care my grandma needs as well. Not to mention she's now 5 minutes from our house and I can easily go visit with her, of course once I'm feeling better. But I'm looking forward to that time with her. I am working on another post just entirely about my grandma and what she means to me, so watch for that to be coming...

Jasmine – we still have Miss Jasmine and she’s doing very well. She is truly just a sweetheart. We truly could not have asked for a more perfect first foster. This girl is truly starting to ‘grow’ on me. GL is seeing it too, I’m totally in love. I can’t say that I won’t be able to let her go, but it’s going to have to be a perfect fit of a home to place her in. I trust God has a plan for Jazz (as remember Jasmine means ‘gift of God’) and whether that means she stays with us forever or her perfect home is out there, time will tell. I can honestly say that I didn’t expect to fall so in love with her.

Lastly – I had previously mentioned making the blog private. At this point, I’m going to keep it public, but just choose a bit more wisely about what I share and don’t share. I will probably still be open about my life, but I won’t be sharing details, ie: when & where we will go on vacation, when GL is gone to reserves and that sort of thing. Just for our protection and so we aren’t opening our lives up to be stalked. It’s scary to think that people (or an individual) find the need to read our blog because they can’t let go of the past. The blog was intended all along for our friends and family to keep in touch with us and what is going on in our lives. I’m still not certain what I’m going to do when GL is dep*loyed because I don’t think I’m comfortable sharing those details publicly…but we’ll see when that times comes. This individual has gotten enough spotlight as it is on this blog, which was never my intention. So it’s done and over with. Life goes on for us and hopefully for this individual as well. For those of you who follow the blog with the best of intentions, we thank you for caring about us and hope you enjoy what we continue to share in the future!

My grandma...

2010-03-26T12:31:00.003-04:00

I know it's been a while since I last posted and I've been promising an update on many things. I actually have a post all ready to go, but life throws us those curve balls and things change. Today has been one of those days for me, for my family.

My grandmother is not doing well. She fell yesterday and needs to be evaluated at the hospital. Ambu-care is headed to pick her up and take her to the hospital. She will then be transported to a local Hospice House for 5 days of respite care.

I will update more later, I've got to get to the hospital. Would you please pray for my family? Specifically for my grandma and my grandpa!

Thanks...more to come later...

Our first foster...

2010-03-08T19:13:00.006-05:00

Meet Jasmine!

This is our first precious foster girl! She's such a sweetheart!!! As I'm typing she's sleeping on my lap, along with our 4 other girls who are now jealous for mom's attention.
We are fostering Jasmine through A New Start on Life. She was originally rescued about 3 years back from a local hoarding situation. At the time she was just a pup. A family adopted her and her mom and apparently recently decided that they no longer wanted Jasmine because 'she had not taken to the husband'. She was returned to rescue on Saturday. We offered to foster her since Phalin is gone having pups. We couldn't ask for a better first foster and she is fine with GL!

Jas is going to be a hard one to say goodbye to when we find her perfect forever home. I already have a few ideas of what her ideal home would be like and I don't doubt that perfect home is out there for her. They are waiting for this jem and we are going to make sure they find each other. I looked up the definition of Jasmine and it means 'gift of God'. I have faith that Jasmine will indeed be that for her perfect family.

Tonight she had a bath and she's fast asleep on my lap...well arms, which is making this a bit difficult to type :) I'm not sure how someone could give up this precious girl, but she will make someone a wonderful, sweet, loving, devoted companion!

I have many more things to share and I promise I will update more soon. Phalin had her pups today and only 2 of the 4 survived. We heard from Remi's foster family and one of Remi's sisters has been returned to the SPCA....oh how my heartstrings are pulled. I'm watching my grandma slowly slip away and it's killing me. Kenzie seems to be fighting a 'bug' or something and that frankly scares the crap out of me because of our experience with Remi...therefore she's seeing the vet tomorrow. I just feel a bit overwhelmed today. I intend to share more about my desires for this blog and continuing to feel comfortable with sharing my heart and life. I promise there will be more to come on these things this week...stay tuned.

The 4 sleeping rescued beauties...

2010-03-03T18:00:00.000-05:00

Here are our precious 4 rescued sleeping beauties...aren't they just adorable???

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On a different topic, once which I've honestly been putting off for a while...

There is a strong possibility that our blog will soon becoming private. Therefore, you would need to send me your email address and I have to add you to the allowed list in order to view the blog. This has never been something I wanted to do, but I've recently learned of an individual that feels the need to follow our blog and shouldn't be. I had originally started a blog when I adopted Faith for people to follow her journey. Then GL came into my life and that part become a part of the blog as well. Then prior to us getting married I started this blog in hopes of our friends and family having an easy avenue to keep updated on our lives. I also had the intent to continue the blog during GL's upcoming de*ployment so that friends and family could remain updated. However, someone now seems to be taking advantage of this being a public blog and I'm no longer comfortable with that. So I've got some thinking to do. Do I start a new private blog about the details of our lives that friends and family have access to? Do I keep this blog public with our doggie stuff?

I will update soon if/when I do move the blog to private vs public. I'll include instructions if you are still interested in following...hopefully this will help me to feel more comfortable about blogging honestly and genuinely about my life and that not being taken advantage of.

Day 65

2010-02-27T12:52:00.003-05:00

This last week marked 65 days since Kenzie came to live with us. She's been slowly making progress to come out of her shell. The other night I was home alone and walked into the living room to find this...

Kenzie up on the back of the chair with Hope and Phalin*. Phalin was the one that started jumping up on the back of the chair. Hope soon followed and Faith has never had a desire. We were watching Kenize trying to figure it out and she has mastered it now herself. This is her new favorite place to lay and sleep!

Best buddies...Hope & Kenzie.

Two precious rescued girls that have totally stole our hearts! How someone could not want precious Kenzie is something I will never understand. She is just sweet as sweet can be!!

*Yes, you might notice that Phalin looks a bit large and uncomfortable in this picture. She is going to her breeder to have her litter of pups and be a mom for a while.

Updates...updates...

2010-02-16T18:27:00.009-05:00

I thought I should take a few moments to provide an update from our end. As you can see in the picture below, I'm never short on helping paws when I sit down with my laptop. They love to help mom on the laptop and they are eager to help me with this post as well!

Things are going well, we seem to keep insanely busy, sometimes I’m not sure with what. The canine company is all doing well. I’m convinced Phalin is pregnant. If you recall she went for breeding in January and if it ‘took’ she is due to have March 9 pups. We all weren’t sure if she was pregnant or not and then all of the sudden last week she popped! She now has not much rib cage definition and just kinda slinks around. She likes to sit up on the back of the chair or couch and now she goes to jump and it’s like she can’t get her backend up there, now. Too funny! So we’ll wait and see what happens this time around for her. Phalin is the one that I co-own with her breeder Alice Dunn, this will be Phalin’s second litter of pups. GL is excited to go through this process with Phalin. Even though she will go to Alice’s to have the pups there and will stay there with them, last time I tried to go once a week to visit. She’s a daddy’s princess so I’m sure the visits won’t be any different this time around.

Kenzie is still adjusting well. We are currently doing a food trial with her to try and determine if she has allergies. She is starting to ‘play’ more and I say ‘play’ in quotes because she still doesn’t really know how to ‘play’. She kinda runs around the house from room to room and that’s her ‘play’. It’s adorable to watch. Ginger is just a ham. Seriously, this girl is growing on me…big time! When we adopted her, I wasn’t 100% sold on the idea. I didn’t want to replace Remi and I wanted Remi back, even though I knew that wasn’t possible. I knew we needed a playmate for Faith, but that was Remi’s job. In the beginning all Ginger did was remind me of Remi. She still has certain mannerisms of Remi’s, but she very much has her own personality too. I love her to pieces. She loves to cuddle and I think I love that the most. She will play and play and play and then wants to be on your lap to cuddle and sleep. I look at Ginger and I feel that I’m forgetting what Remi looked like. I hate it and yet I know it’s part of letting go. GL keeps telling me it’s a good thing. Clearly it took some time for me to warm up to Ginger, but now it feels like she’s just always been with us. We are looking forward to starting her in obedience class next month. Right now we are trying to resolve the incision issues she still seems to be dealing with from her spay. I take her back to the vet this Thursday for a re-check. I’m hoping for the “a-ok” and that they won’t have to open her up again. This is Ginger helping mom with this blog post. I love this little girl to pieces. Excuse my 'lovely' glasses!

I finally spent some time this weekend on the shadow boxes for Ryan, Duke & Remi. I made good progress. I just have to get a few more supplies and then they will be ready for the dog room. I’ll see if I can take a picture of them once we get them up. I’m happy with how they have turned out so far.

I’m trying to plan a vacation for GL & I in the upcoming months prior to his dep*loyment. I’m a busy little beaver trying to plan that out and all the details that go along with it. I am however very excited as GL & I could very much use this time away, together. I pray that all the details will come together and that we will be able to pull this off. We really only had a weekend away after the wedding and this will be a very special time for us. My parents have offered to take care of our canine company for us while we are gone. What a huge weight off our shoulders!!! Anyway, I hope to share more details later...

Thankful Thursday & Happy Birthday Hope!

2010-02-11T11:38:00.005-05:00

The two seem to fit perfectly together because today, on this Thankful Thursday I could not be more thankful for my birthday girl Hope. Hope is my first Cavalier, my first rescue and she has been a ray of sunshine when I needed it the most. Today we celebrate Hope turning 6! It doesn’t seem possible, it seems like we were just celebrating her 2nd birthday!

My precious Hope is sweet and mild. She’s quiet and so easy to have around. She has found a snuggle buddy in Kenzie. And she seems to sleep the day away. You can see a bit more gray on her face and that saddens my heart. We will never know for certain how accurate her birthday is, but I pray she has many, many, many more years of life ahead of her. I’d love to share another 6 years with this precious girl. As I’ve told many times before, Hope came into my life when I was going through an extremely difficult time. She was most definitely hope when I felt hopeless. I know God brought her into my life at a very specific time and I’m so very thankful for her. She has earned the title of “Queen Mum” in our house as she is the oldest and most quiet spirited.

I dread the thought of the day she passes, but the reality of dogs passing is rather fresh in my mind. I’ve talked with Hope and told her she has to live for many, many, many more years and she agreed (ok, not really, just smile and nod your head at this point). I’m so thankful for her and today I wish her the very happiest of birthdays with many more amazing years of life ahead.

You deserve it precious girl, you are a joy to have and I love you so very much!

A Dog's Purpose?

2010-02-04T22:34:00.011-05:00

A Dog's Purpose? (from a 6-year-old).

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ''I know why.''

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said, ''People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?'' The six-year-old continued, ''Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.''

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

I’m trying so desperately to not think about the fact that today it’s been 6 weeks since Remi died. 6 weeks ago tonight our precious girl passed away and today has been tough for me. 6 weeks later and the pain honestly still kills me inside! I still miss her more than words could ever begin to express. I know I probably sound like a broken record, but this whole loss is extremely difficult for me. I am thrilled to have Ginger as a part of our family and she is so desperately what Faith needed. Life goes on and time keeps moving forward, but there is not a day that slips by that Remi doesn’t cross my mind. Our canine company seems to be adjusting just fine. Kenzie fits in perfectly, as does Ginger. Kenzie and Hope are still best buds, as are Faith and Ginger and sometimes Bo joins in. Phalin seems to enjoy the freedom of being independent and not having to entertain Faith. GL & I both seem to marvel at the fact of how much Ginger is so much like Remi, but nothing will ever replace Remi. No other dog could ever replace that long-legged peanut! I miss her never ending wagging tail and kisses, even though Ginger does them just the same. GL seems to have found peace and obviously I’m not there yet. My family and friends will often remind me that we did everything we could and maybe she was spared more pain, but for whatever reason her body knew when it could no longer fight. I know these things in my head, my heart still sees her sick for the last 3 weeks of her life, weak, in pain, fighting to survive a major surgery and then home and lifeless in her kennel after she passed. I can’t seem to move past those pictures in my head. I know that I can’t go back and change anything, but I still struggle with the fact that this original vet who failed to do his job is getting away with this. Someone recently encouraged me to write out Remi’s story and send to pet magazines to help educate others. I’ll have to put some thought into that, I certainly would hate for others to walk this same path. I find myself walking the isles of the pet stores not willing to buy so many kinds of toys anymore. I look at the very toy and rope that took Remi’s life and I still almost can’t comprehend it. This kind of tragic stuff happens to other people, I’m a very overprotective mom to our 4-legged kiddos, just ask anyone that knows me well! Ask GL :) I know that we are not capable of protecting our kiddos all the time, but I sure try. I certainly thought that we were watching her closely when she had toys. Obviously that didn’t happen. Part of me still can’t wrap my mind around her being gone. She was with us such a short amount of time, her life was so short, I kept praying for her to be our miracle girl. I know she had fight in her, Lord knows she fought for weeks before we were able to get her appropriate vet care, but God had a different plan for our Remi. I’m not sure that this side of Heaven I’ll ever be able to understand His plan, but I do trust in Him, knowing He sees the big picture. While I wish the outcome were different and that she was her happy-go-lucky self with us today, she is forever with us in spirit. As I type I’m looking at a quote I have on my computer…

“When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.”

I would never say that another dog is ‘better’ than Remi, but I do believe that God took Remi from our grasp and in turn put Ginger in our open hands. Maybe we were the saving grace that Ginger needed, maybe no one else would’ve adopted her (highly doubt it!!!!), but for whatever reason God had a plan and this was how it was to unfold.

To my precious Remi...I will love you forever, you hold a piece of my heart and our house is just not the same without you here. You will never be forgotten or replaced. I miss you baby girl!!!

Lord, might I be quick to learn from our 4-legged kiddos in regards to the things listed above…they most certainly can teach us a few things about life!

Let us OUT.....

2010-01-29T18:28:00.000-05:00

Last weekend daddy was taking down the Christmas lights on the outside of the house. Bo & Ginger were out in the front with him and the other 4 girls were looking out the front door so very desperately wanting to be out with the others!

Is this not the cutest line up????

Left to right....Phalin, Kenzie, Hope & Faith

Canine Company Pictures

2010-01-27T07:12:00.002-05:00

You might notice that we now have updated pictures of our newest additions under our Canine Kids on the right. And our precious Remi under Forever in our Hearts. Oh how that is hard to see! I never got the blog updated to add her under our Canine Kids section, Lord knows I never wanted her to fall down by Duke & Ryan. My heart is still breaking in case that isn't obvious. Ginger pulled another Remi move last night and I seriously lost it, tears were just streaming down my face...I'll share the story later. I don't know how it's possible for one dog to have so many traits of a dog that has passed on. I'm sure Ginger looks at GL & I and thinks who is this Remi girl you talk about? I'm Ginger, I'm just me!

Anyway, our pictures are updated of our Canine Kids, both those with us in body and those in spirit. And it couldn't be more true that the ones that remain with us in spirit are indeed 'forever in our hearts'.

Thanks Danielle for getting that updated for us!

Would you like to help?

2010-01-26T23:11:00.002-05:00

Ok friends and family I've not done this before but I'm going to put an opportunity out in front of you. Are you ready? Remember the family I mentioned that recently had a fire in their home in this post? Would you like to help us help them? Would you be interested in donating an amount of money? Supplying food? Helping provide the small things needed for every day life? If so, please contact me. GL & I really love this family dearly and would like to help in as many ways possible. If you feel led to help us in that regard shoot me an email at the address on the right.

Thanks for your consideration! Please also continue to keep them in your prayers and their precious young children.

Catch up time...

2010-01-24T19:05:00.006-05:00

It's been yet another busy weekend...Friday was my birthday and my family & GL took me to Red Lobs*ter for dinner! Yum! Then back to my parents house for cake and Jason & Amy came by with the kids to surprise me and hang out. The kids had a great time playing with Ian and we had fun chatting and catching up. Thanks for coming guys, it was a great night! My SIL, Andrea the official cake decorator of the family, made my very favorite strawberry cake! It was so good! Thanks to my hubby for making sure it was a great day :) You are the best dear!
We had a very productive day on Saturday and got lots down around the house. Today we got up and went to church and out for lunch with my folks. We found out that a family from church, who is dear friends, had a house fire last night. Thank God they made it out safe with all 5 of their children. The house fire was mainly in the kitchen, but the are estimating $75,000 worth of damage and they have deemed it uninhabitable for now. Fortunately, they have family in the area that they are able to live with. I am fairly certain the church family will surround them to help in whatever way they can. Would you keep the Hofland family in your prayers? They are such a sweet couple and have such wonderful children. We are so thankful they are all ok! I will keep you posted on ways you might be able to help if you are interested.

Shortly after Remi passed, I somehow got the idea to make a shadow box for each dog we've said goodbye to this year. I've slowly been picking up the supplies, gathering pictures and truly putting it off. It's been on my to-do list and I really do want to do them, I'm just so struggling right now. Every time I see a picture of Remi, it's more than I can handle. This afternoon I went upstairs and set everything out for the shadow boxes. I pulled out the pictures and I dug out Remi's file. Her tiny, short, small file because her life was so very short. Duke's file was huge, it was 2 files! Remi's file should've been 5 files big! Part of me still can't believe she's gone (makes no sense I know). I also can't believe how much Ginger daily reminds me of Remi. I watch Ginger so full of life, so happy, so energetic and so happy to be home. We are finding ourselves going through much of the same motions as we did when we brought Remi home. Remi should still be home. I guess I'm no where near 'getting over this'. I don't know how you cope with something as tragic as her death. I don't know how you ever become 'ok' with it. I'm not sure that will ever change. Anyway, the shadow boxes...the plan is to hang them in our dog room. I want them there, it is just extremely hard for me to look at pictures of Remi right now. Plus I can't seem to find the collar we brought her home with from her foster family and it's driving me nuts! I had planned to put it in her box :)

We are doing well, I am still struggling with health problems with my thyroid. I've been back to the doctor and my levels are still not in the range that they need to be. So again, the meds are adjusted and we wait 6-8 weeks to see what happens. Too drastic of changes can't be made because of the possible side affects as well. I feel that a part of me was lost with my thyroid surgery in 2002 and I'm still struggling so reach a sense of normalcy.

Well, GL & I have a dog pile in the chair with us, so I'm off to enjoy that :)

Thankful Thursday

2010-01-21T20:37:00.003-05:00

I know Thursday is drawing to an end, but I'm sitting at home so very thankful for my canine company. Bo is on the couch with me and the girls are all piled in the chair with daddy. Kenzie is actually laying curled up next to Ginger...this is huge progress!!! Kenzie hasn't been real sure of Ginger and her puppy energy! It's good to see Kenzie more comfortable with Ginger. They are both so good for each other.

Today I'm so thankful for our 4-legged kiddos.

I am thankful that Ginger seems to be getting over her allergic reaction! It's was a bit scary for a while there.

I am so thankful that Kenzie fits in so well and is such a love bug. She and Hope are such good buddies!

I am so thankful that Faith is thrilled to have a playmate again.

I am thankful for the family that rescued Ginger and didn't give up until they found a shelter to take her in.

I am so thankful for God's plan, even though I still struggle to understand it at times. Yes, my mind is fully aware that about this exact time 4 weeks ago we came home on Christmas Eve and Remi had passed. While my heart still aches and I miss her so very much I see so much of her in Ginger. Ginger has been a blessing from God in helping us heal. We feel so honored to have her a part of our family.

I am so thankful for all the little things in life I often take for granted. You can't watch or listen to the news without quickly being reminded of what's going on in Haiti. My mind can't even fathom the suffering these people are experiencing. So tonight even though I'm cold and it's bitter outside, I'm thankful for the roof over my head and the heat running in my home. I'm thankful for the warm clothes and food that is readily available to me. I often think I have life rough and truly I have so much! Might I be quick to remember all that I have to be thankful for.

What are you thankful for this Thursday?

Update & pics

2010-01-20T20:14:00.006-05:00

I ended up taking Ginger in to the vet at the end of the day yesterday (Tuesday) because I was concerned with how her incision was healing (from her spay last week). I picked her up to take her in and noticed her face seems swollen and red and she seemed to have these spots on her body. I couldn't figure out what they were, I'd never seen anything like it before. The best way I can describe it is her hair was raised in a whole bunch of spots. Well, they were hives! She was covered in hives and clearly having an allergic reaction to something! OMG!!! She didn't look like that when I'd come to let her out at lunch, I couldn't believe the change. I also couldn't believe it when the vet told me it was a good thing I'd gotten her in, or we would've probably been calling for emergency care after hours and she could've gone into Anaphylactic shock! OMG!!! You've got to be kidding me. What a God-send that I was concerned about her incision and took her in! Fortunately, her incision looks good! She was given a Cortisone shot and sent home on Benadryl. Yet, another learning experience for GL & myself. I knew dogs could have an allergic reaction to things, but I had never seen hives before on a dog! The vet thinks it was either from the vaccination she received on Saturday or a reaction to the sutures from her spay. She is leaning more towards an allergic reaction from her vaccination. She said it's common in Boxers and we think she has some Boxer in her. Or it could just be her body is sensitive to that.
She seems to be doing well, other than the meds are making her drink more and therefore urinate more, and of course she's not fully housebroken so we have many accidents in the house. But that's ok, we realize it's mostly from the meds. She threw up again in the car on the way home from the vet yesterday, so clearly she's going to have car sickness issues as Remi did. There are times when I look at her and ask her if part of Remi is inside of her? I know it makes no sense, but I can't explain how much this girl reminds us of Remi. Then I see a picture of Remi and they are similar and yet so very different. Nothing can replace Remi, no other dog will fully capture Remi's spirit and sweet personality. It still makes me sick and yes, tomorrow it will be 4 weeks since she passed. It seems like a lifetime that she's been gone. I miss her more than words could ever express, but I'm thankful for Ginger. She brings new life into the house and she a wonderful play-mate for Faith. She's a sweet, sweet girl and I'll never be able to understand how someone could dump her outside and not want her!

I'll end with this adorable picture of our 3 rescued Cavalier girls. Aren't they precious? Kenzie, Faith & Hope (left to right). Now we just need a black and tan rescue and we will have all 4 colors! Do you like Kenzie's sweater? It's actually purple, but the picture doesn't show it very well. I came home the other night and GL had put it on her because he thought she was cold. It's so stinkin' cute on her! Yet, another precious girl that we love to have in our family and can't fathom how someone could dump her off either!!!

Ginger

2010-01-18T09:37:00.004-05:00

I am sitting at home while our dryer is being repaired and since I didn't have time to update the blog this weekend, I thought I'd take advantage of the few minutes I have right now.

We picked Ginger up on Saturday and she's a sweetheart! She has so many Remi mannerisms it's not even funny!!! On the way home she threw up in the car, which Remi always did. She tried to slide under the ottoman, which Remi could do in her younger days. She jumps up and peeks in on the backdoor, as Remi always did. She licks Bo's face endlessly, which Remi always did. And she loves to play with Faith, which Remi always did!!!! I tell you it's crazy how much she makes us think of Remi. She's not near as timid and shy as Remi though, but she seems to love it here. Faith is thrilled to have her here, they play and play and play! We are so thankful for that.

This was Ginger in the chair last night, not wanting to go into her crate for bedtime :)
And yes, daddy put a sweater on her as he thought she was cold :)

I will try to get some better pictures of her in the next few days. She doesn't totally love the camera...yet! I'm not sure how someone could leave this young pup outside and not want anything to do with her and not provide for her. I just will never understand how people do that, period. But she's now with us and we will make sure she's well taken care of. She got a pretty new collar and tag and even a new pad for her crate. It's adorable, I'll have to post a picture.

I'm so thankful for the family that decided to take action and make sure she was rescued. There are not enough people like that in this world. We especially are thankful for your efforts because we now have the privilege to provide her a forever home! She's loved and fits in perfectly!

Miss Kenzie Mae

2010-01-14T20:33:00.000-05:00

I decided that it was probably time for me to share Kenzie’s story since it will be 4 weeks that she’s been with us this coming Sunday. Today it’s been 3 weeks since Remi died and I’m trying so very hard to not dwell on that, but somehow I seem sickly aware each time a Thursday rolls around. I’m not sure how you ever become ‘ok’ with something like this. I’m trying to cling to the peace knowing she is no longer in pain, but gosh I just miss her! I’ve tried to put my energy into justice for Remi but have basically run into dead ends. Legally there is nothing we can do because in the eyes of the court a dog is based on their ‘economic value’ therefore because Remi was not a champion show-dog, she’s worth nothing!! But that is only in the eyes of the court and legal system, in our eyes her value could never be measured, her worth could never been determined by dollar signs! We’ve done what we can as far as action, it doesn’t feel like much, but again, we’ve done what we can. I’ve reached a point where I have to be ok with that. At this point we wait and I’m also in the process of writing the original veterinarian in hopes that he can gain some education on what happened with Remi so this doesn’t happen to other people. However, writing this letter is taking an emotional toll on me in and of itself, though I feel I need to do it for closure. I will not publicly ‘bash’ this veterinarian and I will not publicly post his name. If anyone wants to contact me directly, I’d be more than happy to talk in person. When people continue to ask me where we go for veterinarian care I will be honest in telling them and I will also explain the reasons why. GL & I will continue to have many dogs come and go in our lifetime. We hope to become more and more involved with dog rescue efforts and we will only go to veterinarian’s we trust! Veterinarian’s that care and love our pets and are in it for their best interest. Not only that, but veterinarian’s that are educated or willing to figure out what needs to be done.

Ok clearly, I digress...sorry back to Kenzie!!!

This precious little doll is an absolute joy to have around. I feel guilty that we brought her home into the last few days of Remi’s life amidst craziness, but she didn’t seem to mind. She truly is like a little sponge that just absorbs everything around her. She craves attention and cuddling. She will watch the other dogs play, but has not yet attempted to pick up a toy or join in. She seems to have found her nitch with Hope! (which I was predicting) It took her a few days to learn the Cavalier “log-pile”, but now that she has, she loves to curl up and snuggle! She does this belly crawl, where she is like swimming on the floor, it’s adorable and she has a tail that goes and goes. She has huge eyes, like Phalin and is very observant and curious. She was in pretty bad shape when she got into rescue and we are still working to get her completely healthy and feeling great! We had her back to the vet today for another re-check. She is still fighting an ear infection in the right ear and the vet is leaning towards possibly allergy issues. So we are looking into that.

How did she end up in rescue? Well, she was found as a stray in Allegan County, which is the county just south of us. She was posted on pet*finder and a friend in rescue email the listing to Alice (Phalin’s breeder) and myself to see if we could get her out of the shelter and into rescue. By the time Alice called she was #3 on the list and when I called I was #5 on the list! We received a call that she was being adopted by #1 on the list. We tried and all we could do was to hope that she had found a go home and would be properly cared for. Meanwhile, GL had seen her picture and feel in love with this little girl! Within a week Alice received a call from the MI coordinator of CKCSC rescue and she’d been contacted to take Kenzie into rescue. Apparently #1 on the list was a volunteer at the shelter that knows of backyard breeders in the area looking for this particular breed and didn’t want Kenzie to end up there. She didn’t intend to adopt her, but instead gave her to a friend. This friend’s other dog didn’t like Kenzie being around and thankfully, rather than bringing her back the shelter the volunteer contacted rescue!!! I got an email from Alice stating she had gone to pick her up and she had her at the vet for care! Wow, what a circle! How awesome!!! Kenzie ended up being at the vet’s for a couple weeks due to a really bad infection that she had going on. Then Alice began fostering her. GL & I were extremely interested in this precious little one and knew she’d fit in just perfect. We went to visit her at Alice’s and well the rest as they say was history :) Through her shyness she was adorable just adorable. She was scared to trust but so wanted the attention. GL wanted to take her home right then and there! 2 weeks later we had her home!

When Alice was able to get her she was in rough shape. She had some really nasty ear infections going on and her ears were matted and the matts had mold in them! O.M.G….can’t even imagine! She also had some sort of upper respiratory infection and she was coughing and sneezing stuff out! Her coat wasn’t in good shape, in fact her coat is very thin (and yes she was outside in a MI winter!!!!). She clearly had recently had puppies, but no one knows where the pups ended up.

When she was at the shelter they gave her the name “Beth”. Then when she entered rescue she was renamed “Emmi”. Loved the name, but didn’t think we should have a Remi and an Emmi. We just thought that would be way too confusing for them and for us, so we decided to name her Kenzie. Little did we know at that time that our Remi would soon be passing away. Ugh….I digress yet again.

So our Kenzie Mae is learning her new name and adjusting amazingly well. She seems happy and enjoys being with us and that’s where she is to stay! She seems to enjoy her new buddy in Hope and I think it’s a good companionship for both of them. Hope needed that connection with someone too. Kenzie is just a love bug and she just melts into you when you pick her up. She still is a bit hand shy at times, and doesn’t love to go outside but who can blame her in a MI winter with very little coat on her! She fits right in and so easy to have around. She’s building trust in us one day at a time and that’s perfect. It’s a joy to watch them come out of their shell once they get a taste of what the good life really is!!! She’s a part of the family and we love her to pieces. Oh how I wish that she could’ve known Remi for more than the 12 hours Remi was home before she passed. I trust they will meet one day (a long, long time from now) in doggie heaven and know they are sisters :)
Ok, even if you don’t agree, please don’t burst my bubble at this point….I like the good picture in my head!!!

*The blog will be updated with pictures of our Canine Company next week!

and then there were 6....

2010-01-09T17:12:00.011-05:00

My mind is fully aware that Thursday it was 2 weeks since Remi passed. I'm also aware that tomorrow it will be 3 weeks since Kenzie has been with us. She's a doll and it's so fun to watch her come out of her shell but I still miss Remi.

I was talking to a friend on Friday regarding the feelings that I still struggle with in regards to Remi's passing and everything that happened. I'm feeling more peace, but I know there are some more things that need to happen in order for me to fully have closure. In talking, she said to me...you'll know when the time is right, because you will get another dog. I told her that that had actually been on my mind the last few days and I'd been praying about it. I had not yet shared this with GL, just prayed. I knew that today there was an adoption event for the same shelter in which we adopted Remi from. It's located near where GL has reserves. He has reserves all weekend, so I suggested that I drive there and we just stop in and look on his lunch. I'd been looking at their dogs online and truly didn't see anything that grabbed my attention, but for some reason wanted to go. Why? Not so sure, why would I want to go to the exact place we adopted Remi from? Well, I suggested it to GL and he of course said yes. So today I drove there to meet him and we went in to look. I sighed as we walked up because this is where we picked up our precious Remi....was I really ready to walk back in there? We did, we looked around and then got back to the puppy room. There was a girl that looked similar to Remi, but yet different...I couldn't look at her. I walked over to this little 3lb dude crying in a crate. He was some sort of Chihuahua mix. I'm normally not a Chihuahua fan at all (sorry for those of you that are). This little guy was so darn cute and so tiny! I had to hold him. He just snuggled right in and was just adorable....however, I didn't really want to bring a male into the house, plus the foster mom was telling me what an 'independent' boy he was already.

Meanwhile GL is still looking at this other girl. So I walked over by him and we took her out. She immediately snuggled into GL. We brought her to a corner and she nestled into his neck just as Remi used to. Then GL had tears in his eyes, I knew at that point it was meant to be. GL has been very stoic during Remi's passing, this was the first I'd seen any emotion from him. I of course got tears in my eyes then too! This girl....Ginger is her name, had grabbed GL's heart. He said to me that she nestled in exactly like Remi used to which none of our other dogs do. She had her face right in his neck and he said he felt as if Remi whispered to him "daddy I'm still right here". I lost it! OMG! For those of you that don't have that bond with your pets, you won't understand this, but there are just times when they speak to your heart and that's exactly what happened for us today. I knew right then and there Ginger was the newest member of our family. I am convinced that somehow a piece of Remi will live through Ginger, we already saw that today and I thank God for that.

She will get spayed this week and we will pick her up next Saturday. I'm praying the transition will go smoothly and she'll just fit right in. She really has a sweet personality. I'm hoping we have found Faith her playmate.

Ginger was brought in all the way from Flint. Apparently her owners didn't want her and so they kept putting her outside hoping she'd go away (seriously....people like that really tick me off). A builder in the area saw this and went to the owners and asked what the deal was. They admitted they didn't want the dog, kept putting her out and she kept coming back. This man asked if he could have the dog and they said yes. This man, knowing he couldn't keep her, started to contact shelters in his area and all were full. He got ahold of someone with the SPCA in Portage on Christmas Eve (the day Remi passed) asking if they could take her and they said yes! She's only been in foster care for a week and we are looking forward to picking her up next week Saturday.

Ginger was born approximately in Aug. 2009 and they are saying she's a Shepherd/Boxer mix. She has some similarities to Remi, but yet a much different body structure. She's currently about 25lbs and it's anybody's guess exactly how big she will get, they are estimating medium size.

So without further ado, please allow me to introduce you to our newest addition, Ginger!

Sleeping beauty!

GL & I went for lunch after signing all the paperwork and I said to him...are we attempting to replace Remi? Why did we pick one that looked so much like Remi? Why did we go to the exact same place we got Remi from? Ugh...again, my eyes filled up with tears! GL smiled and looked at me and said Remi will never be forgotten or replaced. Nothing or no one will ever replace Remi. Ginger is a step in the healing process, just as Remi was for us this past summer. Ginger is a chance for us to give another dog a home, a forever home. He reminded me that everything happens for a reason and clearly God's hand has been in all of this. While we may never understand why we had to loose Remi through it all, we have learned invaluable lessons through this process. Lessons that will only make us better 'parents' to our dogs. Remi will forever live in our hearts and I'd give anything to have her here with us, but no matter what we do, nothing can bring her back. So even though we currently have 5 loving 4-legged kiddos, we are now going to have 6 and I feel a complete sense of peace about that.

On a different note, Phalin came back home from breeding Thursday night. Now we wait to see if the breeding took or not. (I have no idea if that's the correct term, I'm clearly not the breeder :)) Anyway, if it did 'take' Alice said she'd have pups around March 9. We'll keep you posted.

Kenzie is continuing to adjust wonderfully (is that a word?). Once again she's in the chair next to me with Hope snuggled up sleeping. I had a feeling when we adopted her that she and Hope would become buddies and I think that has happened. I still am working on a post with Kenzie's story as I realize I have not yet shared that, I promise, it's coming.

YES.....

2010-01-05T19:27:00.020-05:00

....I know I'm having a hard time finding peace with Remi's death. Yes, there are times when I feel down in the dumps and the guilt is so heavy. Yes, there are times when I know something in my head, but my heart isn't on the same page. Yes, I know that God always has a plan and that if I would just let go and let God, life would be so much easier. Yes, I do know that I have so much to be thankful for. Yes, I know that there are times when I just really mess things up in life, but forgiveness is a blessing. Yes, I'm so very thankful that as I'm typing right now, I have a wonderful doggie pile surrounding me in the chair of my wonderful 4-legged kiddos (all 4 of them, Phalin is still gone for breeding). And YES, it's about time that I look beyond the box I often find myself living my life in. There is a dear friend of mine that never fails to make me humble without even trying to! I've talked about her before and I'm definitely a better person for knowing this dear lady. I continually find myself encouraged by her faith in God....you know, that faith that I often struggle with!!!!

When I was grieving Remi's death and so stuck in my little box of life, this is the words my dear friend sent to me...

"I have always loved the sentence at the end of your emails "life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain". I have to say though - you have had to learn far too many rain dances! My heart aches for you and I can't even begin to imagine the grief you are going through. It looks like you have a house full of sweet little dogs right now - let them shower you with love. Dogs are wonderful at loving you unconditionally!

I'm sure it will be hard with Christmas being tomorrow. I'm not trying to minimize your loss but tomorrow when you wake up, remember - it is Jesus' birthday! The day He was born. He was born and died to save us and there is nothing that is bigger than him. Not cancer, not the loss of our beloved pets, there is not anything that is bigger than Him. I hold tight to that thought - He is bigger than all of it. Some day that is all this life will be about - Him. In the meantime we make it through this life, as difficult as it is, one step at a time."

I didn't share this with her, but when I received her note above, I knew what she was telling me, but I wasn't fully understanding it. Nearly 2 weeks later, I'm finally getting it (yes, I know, I'm a bit slow). I can finally see what she saw, she nailed it on the head.

This dear friend of mine is Kristi. I've mentioned her before and I'm sure this won't be the last time I'll mention her either. She's an amazing lady, did I mention that? She has about the sweetest disposition, she's this tiny little thing with a radiant smile. She is one of my biggest prayer warriors. She is always an encouragement to me. I know she is always there for me. I know that God brought her into my life for a reason and I'm so thankful for knowing her. She has a precious family. She is a God-fearing, faith walking, Christian lady. She has been handed some tough stuff in life, some really tough cancer battles and she continues to shine through it all. She received some more tough news this week. The cancer has spread. She had surgery just before Christmas and the results they were given this week were, I guess you could say, not favorable. But through it all, she's still shining and still believing that God has a plan and she's not giving up. She has to start chemo yet again. I'm not clinical and won't do justice of explaining it, so you can read her post by clicking here.

Oh and did I forget to mention she's a dog lover????? :)

Would you be so kind to pray for my precious friend Kristi and her family? I'd so appreciate it. Please pray for her husband Brian and their 3 kids, Ashley, Nathan & Emily. I'd encourage you to follow their blog and I promise you will find yourself encouraged and probably humbled, like I often am.

Kristi - thanks for being YOU! I am so thankful that God crossed our paths. Thanks for touching my life in a very special way. You know that my thoughts and prayers are always with you. Hugs!

and then there were 4....

2010-01-03T19:48:00.002-05:00

Yup, we are down to just 4 dogs...for the moment....Phalin is gone for breeding. We still don't know how to act with just 4 dogs! Our numbers have been changing way too much in the last 6 months! We are trying to reassure the other dogs that Phalin will be back, she's just gone for a bit :)

How are we? How was our Christmas? Those seem to be the questions we are getting. We've just started giving the answer 'good'. It's just easier that way. Do you want to know the truth? We are still struggling. GL & I have both agreed today we are still in shock, I don't know how else to explain it. The past month seems like a blur and we've learned a really hard lesson in loosing Remi. We all seem lost without her! She was the perfect balance and fit like a puzzle piece in our family.

GL & I have been both searching pet*finder. Why? Not a clue. Do we want to add another dog right now? No. So again, why are we looking? I still don't know...we seem to find ourselves looking for Remi on there. Again, I know, it makes no sense.

I broke down again today. We ended up at my parents house tonight and I stood and looked out upon Remi's grave and just cried. Our 7 month old puppy should not have to be in a grave right now. She should be home, enjoying life. GL handles it differently than I. He misses playing with Remi, she would rough-house with him on the floor. She was so full of life and we miss her dearly.

We spent New Year's Day with my mom's side of the family. My grandma is not doing well and so we thought we'd better all get together again. It's difficult to watch her going down hill. She has dementia and it's definitely in the advanced stages. It's hard to watch the toll that it takes on my family. My grandma is truly no longer there anymore, it's so sad what dementia does to the brain.

Today we went to church and my heart wasn't into it, if I'm honest. I'm just struggling with that whole trust and faith deal again (still). My heart isn't on the same page with my head, or something like that. I know God has a plan, I'm just struggling to find peace with Remi's passing. We came home and cleaned the house along with all dogs getting baths. Everyone smells so nice and clean now :) Hope & Kenzi are sleeping in the chair between GL & I. Kenzi definitely likes to seek out Hope and snuggle up with her. Bo is chewing on a bone. Faith is wandering around, picking up toys and looking lost as usual...at least right now. I keep hoping one of the other dogs with step up and become Faith's play buddy.

I apologize, I know this post is all over the place. I felt I should update the blog and yet my mind is seemingly off in a million different directions. Hopefully some of it made sense! I know time will heal all of our wounds and time is what we need. Once again, I've never been much of a patient person.

1 week later...

2009-12-31T21:12:00.010-05:00

I honestly don’t even know how to start this update. It’s been 1 week today since our precious Remi passed away. Today is also the “10 day marker” we were counting down to reach, knowing once she reached that marker, we could safely say she had pulled through. Today has been an extremely tough day for me. My heart is heavy and aches with pain. I have tears that flow from time to time. But yet, I think I’m still in shock to a point that she’s gone (I know, it makes no sense). I suppose since Tuesday was a fairly ‘decent’ day for me, I had to expect that to change :) (I know the optimist in me) We are trying to just take life one day at a time, sometimes, just one hour at a time. I find myself sometimes just drifting off into space, I see her dead body lying in the kennel at home (yes, she passed at home Christmas Eve night) and I can’t seem to stop thinking of all the MANY things in life she never got to experience. Remi’s life was cut tragically short.

When I see a picture of Remi, I fill up with tears. Like this picture…
One of our Christmas cards for this year. We sent two. For those that didn’t receive them, we sent one of a wedding picture of GL & myself, and then this one of our Canine Company. I love it, it’s all our kiddos (well, now Kenzi is missing from there). It has one of my most favorite pictures of Remi in it. Oh how I miss that face! Before Christmas even came this year, Remi was gone. I never imagined. I never saw it coming. I never dreamt that her ‘vomiting’ would ultimately kill her. So yes, I guess I’m still in more shock than I even realized. Maybe that’s why it hurts so bad. Well and probably because a part of me is still very angry with a vet that didn’t bother to pursue her symptoms, which ultimately led to her death. She didn’t deserve to die and we were entrusting the vet we took her to, to know what he was doing and make sure she was properly cared for and treated. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen in a timely enough manner (well, actually he never properly cared for her period). By the time we got her proper care, she only had a 50/50 chance of surviving after her emergency surgery. The optimist in me (which most of you know is a small piece of me) was hoping she’d survive, but God had a different plan for Remi’s life and for whatever reason He didn’t save our young pup, His plan was different than ours. I know it is not for me to question God why, but if I’m honest, it’s really hard for me right now. (just being honest, please don’t judge) All I wanted this year for Christmas was my precious Remi Sue to be ok. I wanted her so badly home for Christmas, with her family, where she belonged. I may never know on this side of Heaven why God’s plan was different, but I’m trying to have faith and trust. Remember my post on that? Well, let’s just say I’m struggling with faith and trust, yet again.

I can clearly see what a 'God send' Remi was in our lives. GL & I had each just recently put down a beloved pet and GL so wanted a puppy. As you might remember, I was a bit more reluctant just having gone through puppyhood with Faith. We found Remi on pet*finder and she truly picked GL. It was love at first sight and we knew she was meant to be our girl. We got her home and there were times when I’d see traits of Duke in her and GL would see traits of Ryan in her and it left us in awe (well, it left me with tears in my eyes). The 2 boys that we missed so dearly from our lives, we were now seeing pieces of them in Remi. It was such a healing process for GL & I to adopt her, together. She provided healing experiences for us as we both were grieving the loss of Ryan & Duke. She was a joy, though she was a puppy through and through and annoyed me like crazy at times. She loved life and I’d give anything to give life back to her. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a dog as happy as she was, all the time! She was as sweet as you could get. She had these absolutely adorable wrinkles on her head and depending on her different response to things the wrinkles would change. Again, something else that made her so unique, so special. Adopting Remi and adding her to our family provided great joy for GL & I and helped us through our grief of Ryan & Duke. Now we find ourselves just 5 short months after adopting her, grieving the loss of her as well. It’s absolutely just devastating for us. It’s tough to walk into our home and not be immediately reminded that she’s not there. We watch little Faith trying so very desperately to get one of the other dogs to play with her and they just aren’t interested like Remi was. Faith has truly lost her best buddy and that is heartbreaking for us to watch. She’s adjusting (probably quicker than we are), but it’s very obvious to us.

For those of you who 'a pet is just a pet', you won’t understand what we are going through, and that’s ok. But for those of you out there like GL & I, our pets are our kids and this is a huge loss for us. I apologize that I keep dwelling on our loss, but this is our reality, this is our world, this is what we are working through right now and there are days when it just down right sucks. Time will help to heal our wounds and we are praying for closure. We are praying for peace the fall upon our hearts, as we so desperately desire that. We are loving on our other 4-legged kiddos with extra love.

We have learned some really hard lessons through the loss of Remi. Please for her sake, learn from our mistakes, our ignorance. Please be sure you TRUST your vet! This is so very important, that’s why we bring our pets to them, they are the professionals that are ‘supposed’ to know what they are doing. I have lost all trust in the vet that failed to diagnosis Remi correctly which in turn caused us to loose her. It’s a huge loss for us and no skin off his back. So make sure you have trust in your vet. Follow your gut. I knew something wasn’t right with Remi, but I couldn’t put my finger on it, and after all that’s why I brought her to the vet, because I’m not a vet! Get a second opinion on something if you still don’t feel right about it. I think I mentioned before that I’m a very overprotective mom when it comes to my 4-legged kiddos, or at least I thought I was. I can promise you that I will be even more overprotective now! Love on your doggies…you never know when life can abruptly come to an end.

We are still so thankful for Hamilton Vet and Dr. Chad for coming in on a Sunday night to see Remi and for so quickly dealing with the issues at hand. We appreciate your honesty and realness. You told us exactly how things were and that’s what we needed, that’s all we ask for. We so appreciate the care and time that you put into Remi and we know that you wanted her to pull through as much as we did. Thank you for caring, thank you for trying, thank you for what you do! Thank you for reminding me that we (GL & myself) did all that we could for Remi, that this was not our fault and that it was evident we loved her deeply. Those words have meant so very much to me. As much as others have said those same words, hearing them from you was healing for me. Thanks to Dr. Tracy for your assistance in caring for Remi and for sitting and talking with us during her surgery about our options. Thanks to Val, Remi’s vet tech, for taking such wonderful care of Remi when she was at your office. I am sure there are others that cared for her as well, and though I don’t know you by name, thank you. Thanks for caring for Remi and trying to help us do what we could for her. You have all more than earned our trust and we know you are always looking out for our dogs best interests and making sure they are well cared for. Again, thank you and God bless you for what you do – I couldn’t do it!!!!

In regards to the first vet, he will remain nameless at this point on this blog. Some of you know who he is and that’s fine. I no longer have any trust for this man and I think he down right was negligent with Remi’s care. I can’t guarantee that had it been addressed earlier (like it should have been) she’d be alive, but the odds are pretty good she would be. And frankly, that kills me. We have lost a 7 month old puppy because a vet didn’t want to do his job, didn’t care, or whatever his reason was. It’s a huge loss for us, because of one professional man’s ignorance or whatever you wish to call it. (I am trying to keep my comments “G” rated)

I was reminded last week from a friend that 2009 has been a year of some of my lowest lows, and highest highs! And I still will say with confidence that I believe everything happens for a reason and God has a plan, His plan is perfect. Even through some of the lowest lows, puddles of shed tears and hurt, everything seems to make me a stronger person. I may never understand God’s plan at times, but He sees the big picture and I have to have faith and trust in just that.

I do pray for God’s richest blessings to fall upon you and your families in the upcoming year. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we continue to ‘move on’ in life.

Blessings!

Miss Kenzi Mae

2009-12-30T20:16:00.001-05:00

Kenzi having snuggle time with daddy

Checking in...

2009-12-29T21:32:00.002-05:00

Just dropping in for a quick update. I had every intention of sitting and writing out an update tonight, but it didn't happen. I was also hoping to share more of Kenzi's story and more pictures, but that didn't happen either.

Today is probably my best day since Remi's passing. I still shed a few tears today, but not like the buckets of tears that have been flowing lately. GL said today is the first time he's heard me laugh lately :) I have felt for days that I'd take 1 step forward and then 5 steps back. Today I felt like I actually was able to take a few more steps forward.

I was able to have about a 15 minute conversation with Dr. Chad today. He is the vet that performed Remi's surgery and cared for her until her passing. This was the first chance we'd had to talk. It was a very good conversation for me. I'll share more details later, but I felt like I could finally stop and take a deep breath after that conversation. Thanks again Dr. Chad!

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Please keep them coming :) Remi will forever remain in our hearts and I'm not sure that her loss with ever be an easy thing, but life goes on and we have learned some valuable lessons through this all....I just wish it didn't cost her her life. God has a plan and I'm still longing for the peace in my heart that only He can provide.

A new day is here

2009-12-27T09:13:00.002-05:00

Oh how I'm trying to be strong and positive and about 90% of the time I'm failing miserably. I try to get up and do things and no matter what I do, my mind returns to Remi. I guess I'm still in shock more than I realized. It all happened so quickly, it's like some horrible nightmare, and yet it's not, it's reality and our baby is gone. I'm supposed to be getting ready for church right now because even though I don't feel like going, GL said we need too. We both have a tremendous amount of anger inside that we need to let go of. I still don't feel like going and yet I know that once life can get back into the 'daily grind' it will be better for me.

I finally slept last night with the aid of a sleeping pill and I do feel more rested this morning. Last night my body just shut down, about 6:30pm and I was done, I couldn't go any further, all I could do was cry. We talked some more about Remi and how these dogs are our kids, they aren't just pets to us, they are kids. It's a huge loss for us right now. Remi was so young, so full of life and now she's gone. I just can't even comprehend it.

It breaks my heart to watch Faith just walk around the house aimlessly. Faith & Remi were so attached at the hip. Faith just keeps looking for her, her play buddy. They would play for hours on end. Faith now stands in the middle of the room with a toy in her mouth waiting, and no one wants to play. Oh how that pulls on my heart strings. It kills me to pieces.

Bo is currently outside with GL shoveling the driveway. Bo is lost too without Remi.

The fact is, we are all lost without Remi, we are all missing her terribly and the pain in my heart is deep. I can't stop blaming myself for not handling this all differently, she'd probably be her then. I know I can't go back and change the past and that hindsight is always a wonderful thing. But oh how I wish I knew what I know now 2-3 weeks ago.

Life goes on, I know that, but my heart is just aching with pain and hurt. The grief at times is more than I can bear. I know that time will heal these wounds and Remi will always be in our hearts. This tragedy is just that and it's taking a toll on all of us.

Please keep your prayers coming.....we need them!

With very heavy heart...

2009-12-26T08:54:00.004-05:00

It is with a very heavy heart that I write this post. I am completely numb inside and yet I have 50 gazillion things going through my mind. I'll warn you that this post is going to be completely honest, I'm hoping it will prove to be therapeutic for me to get this out in writing. Please don't judge, I've done enough of that to myself this week.

Allow me to step back and recap a bit...

Remi had been sick for about 2 weeks off and on. She'd get really sick and then I'd get her to the vet, he'd give her a shot to stop the vomiting along with some pills for us to take home and she'd appear to be improving and then 4-5 days later (once meds were out of her system), she'd get sick all over again. This past Sunday night I called a different vet (her normal vet office) and explained to Dr. Chad what was going on, he suggested her bring her in. They evaluated her and wanted to keep her overnight and do exploratory surgery Monday morning. During surgery Monday I received a call from Dr. Tracy, who was assisting Dr. Chad and she explained what they found and that her chances were not good. You can read the details in this post. I called GL and we decided to rush to the vet and say goodbye to Remi. Once we arrived, Dr. Chad had continued to operate and was feeling more hopeful with the progress. After much discussion with them, we decided to continue the surgery and hopefully give her a chance to live. As I've posted on the blog this week, just because she made it through surgery, didn't guarantee she was going to make it, she could still die from complications. We just felt we needed to give her the chance to live. She was at the vet on Tuesday & Wednesday and both days when she was visited by us and my parents she seemed to be doing much better. When GL & I went to pick her up Thursday (Christmas Eve) morning, as soon as I saw her I knew she didn't look good. We brought her home and she was limp, lifeless and drugged. I just had a horrible gut feeling that things were not good and she wasn't going to make it. GL kept encouraging me to stay positive and just take it one day at a time. She spent the majority of the day sleeping in her crate. We'd take turns laying by her, but mostly trying to let her rest hoping that would give her strength. She got up a couple times to go get a drink of water on the other side of the house and was keeping that water down. We offered food and she wasn't interested. We had a Christmas party that evening at my parents house (which is just down the street). We had debated about taking her with us, but felt it was best to leave her undisturbed and just let her rest. GL came to check on her about every hour during the party. He said she seemed to be a bit more alert as if the pain meds were wearing off. We arrive back home around 8:30pm and GL went in the dog room first and immediately came out and told me not to come in. I knew immediately it wasn't good. I kept asking if she was dead and he said yes. I just started screaming, I couldn't even cry I was so angry! I quickly called my parents and they came down to be with us. GL didn't want me to see her and he was trying to take care of her body. Meanwhile I'm still screaming because I'm so upset and can't believe she's gone. I felt horrible that she died alone and GL reminded me that she was surrounded by her sisters and brother when she passed and she was home, and not in a vet office all alone. GL took her body and buried her in my parents backyard, so she's not far from home.

I felt a sense of shock for a long time, but then the tears started and they barely have stopped since. I'm a basket case. I'm a wreck. I'm not doing well. I have such a vast array of emotions flowing through me.....anger, rage, hurt, pain, sadness, loss, grief and the cycle continues. I'm upset with myself for letting it go 2 weeks without pushing harder that something else had to be going on. I never dreamt that you could 'cover up' a blockage with medication and prolong a diagnosis, which could ultimately lead to death. Hindsight is always 20/20 and I'd do so many things different if I could, but at the time I thought I was doing everything I could and what was best for her. I never, ever, ever imagined we'd end up loosing her. They had warned us of the possibly complications of surgery, but in my mind for some reason I thought GL & I would be forced to make the decision to put her down because she was not recovering. In my mind I didn't even imagine that her own body would shut down on it's own and she'd be gone within less than 12 hours of having her home.

I don't know why God didn't answer our prayers to heal our young pup, but I know He has a reason for everything. I know God has a plan and that's not for me to question, though I'm really struggling with that. Why Remi? Why did she only have 7 months of life? Why couldn't we have caught this earlier? Why during the Christmas season? As much as I know in my head it's not for me to question 'why' my heart is hurting.

I know we did everything we could for her, but it breaks my heart that it just wasn't enough to save her. GL keeps reminding me that she's no longer suffering, she's not in pain, she's at peace. Again, I know that in my head, but my heart is hurting.

Remi was so unique, she was SO happy, SO full of life. She absolutely loved everyone she met and she was best of buds with Faith & Bo. It was a true joy to watch her grow and learn about life. Developing her own sweet, sweet personality, she was just a love bug. She had a tail that absolutely never stopped wagging, her whole body would wiggle when she wagged her tail. For the longest time she was definitely a daddy's girl, but when she started to get sick she'd seek out mommy for care and comfort. The last couple week she would just cuddle up with me in the chair, or rest her head on my shoulder. We both loved her in different ways and miss her more than words could even begin to express.

Lord knows we've been through a lot since meeting, ups and downs. We'd already lost 2 dogs already this year, but a third?????? Are we not meant to have dogs? What in the world are we doing wrong? We love our dogs, they are our kids! They are such a daily part of our lives. I was so excited for my first Christmas with GL and our kiddos and having Kenzi in our family. I wanted this Christmas to be so very special, not only because it was our first Christmas, but also knowing GL will be de*ployed over the holidays next year.

We spent Christmas day with my immediate family at my parents house. It was more than difficult and my family was so very understanding. It was just tough, GL & I were both distracted, both hurting, both just not 'into it'. I would find myself flooded with emotion from time to time and walk away and just cry. GL just sits quietly. We both grieve differently. Not how I imagined us spending our first Christmas together.

I'd give anything to be able to go back and re-do the last month of our lives. However, I know that's not an option. My head knows I made the best decisions I could at the time, but my heart isn't there yet. I just keep thinking of everything Remi never got to experience. Why did her life have to be cut so short? She was so full of life! There will never be another one like her, she was so very special and I miss her more than words could ever express.

I have house cleaning to do, presents to still get home from my parents house, a shower to take, things to do and yet I don't fee like doing any of it. I'm not motivated, I'm still so hurting inside. I tried so hard to enjoy Christmas with GL & my family yesterday and for a few minutes here and there I did and then my mind would travel back to Remi being gone and frankly it's still more than I can even comprehend. I know that time will heal the pain. I know that she's in a better place, though I wish she were home, safe, healthy and having just experienced her 1st Christmas.

Then I see precious Kenzi, our newest addition. She brings joy too. She's so adorable and just a sweet girl. She's so curious and doing so well in our home. I feel bad that we brought her home and then jumped into a week of fighting to keep Remi alive and ultimately loosing her. Yet, Kenzi still trots around the house, with her head held high checking out things and enjoying her new home. Kenzi was able to experience her 1st Christmas in her home, where it's warm and where she is surrounded by her sisters and brother that love her already.

If I could offer any words of advice to fellow dog owners, pick your dog toys carefully. Of course they can always get into things outside, but do your best to keep things safe for them. That's what we thought we were doing and apprently we weren't. The blockage was made by a hard piece of something, we think possibly a chunk of a bone. Then rope (from rope toys) was wrapped around that and trying to work it's way through and that's what destroyed her intestine and caused the vast majority of the damage. I never dreamt that those things could end up taking Remi's young life. I'm an OCD kinda mom, I'm over protective with my dogs....just ask GL or anyone that knows me. I try to keep them safe and yet something like this still happened.

As much as I have just typed a book for a post, in my heart I still feel at a loss for words. Life will go on, it has to. We have 5 wonderful dogs depending on us and they don't know what has happened either. Faith just continues to walk around the house, aimlessly wandering. She'll pick up a toy and stand there waiting for her buddy Remi to come and play with her. Those 2 played for hours and hours and hours! Faith will move on too. We all will, but Remi will forever and ever remain in our hearts. I so enjoyed the short time we had with her and she was such a joy, such a happy young pup. My heart just aches....I miss her....my chest hurts with pain....

God please grant us peace in this time of deep hurt.

Remi....RIP sweet girl

2009-12-24T20:49:00.000-05:00

Remi passed tonight, I just don't even have the words. My baby girl is gone and we couldn't save her....it's more than I can even comprehend or handle right now. When we picked her up this morning I knew she wasn't doing good, but I was hoping and praying she'd pull through. My baby girl is gone. We did everything we thought was best for her, my heart aches that we didn't catch it fast enough to save her.

Please keep us in your prayers!

She's home!

2009-12-24T12:13:00.003-05:00

We were able to pick up Remi from the vet this morning. She is home. We are still not out of the woods! This is the worst I've seen her since coming out of surgery. Fortunately she's stoned with pain meds and is pretty much sleeping. I was expecting her to look better and be more of her perky self and she's not. The reality of the days ahead and the waiting is sinking in. I'll be honest, I'm still scared to death that we are going to loose her!

Would you please continue to hold her up in your prayers? Pray for healing, for her body to be restored, for no infection to set in, for the resection to hold, for her temp to stay in a normal range, for her to be able to keep food and water down and for God to grant us a miracle and get her through this!

She'll be home for Christmas

2009-12-23T19:04:00.004-05:00

Remi that is….oh yes, she’ll be home for Christmas!!!!! Tomorrow morning we get to go and pick her up and take her HOME! I am so excited there just aren’t words to express it. I’m also still scared to death and there are not words to describe that either. I never imagined it my wildest dreams (or nightmares) that when we brought her in Sunday night our week would unfold as it did. I was so looking forward to my first Christmas with GL and I never imagined we’d be spending the week trying to save Remi’s life!

We are both thrilled to be having Remi come home tomorrow and we will do whatever is needed to monitor her further. She will need to be closely monitored for a while after coming home. The vet reminded us again that even though she is progressing well, we are not out of the woods yet. We need to reach a 10-day marker and then we can say safely that we feel she pulled through. There is still a very real chance that even though we take her home, things could still change and head south quickly. She still has the risk of developing an infection or Peritonitis or other complications from the surgery. We are trying to stay positive and be hopefully, but yet realistic as well. It’s rather difficult to find that happy medium. I will be (and am) thankful for the time we are going to have with her and I’m thrilled to get her back home, but my heart with not rest easy until I know she’s through the worst of it and we are in the clear!

We still very much covet your prayers for Remi’s complete healing. You know how they say you don’t realize how good something is until it’s gone…well, that’s become reality for us this week. Of course we love Remi and she is definitely a part of our family, but the reality of loosing her hit hard and fast this week, our home was just not the same without her. I was a complete basket case on Monday (just ask GL). This is my baby girl, only 7 months old and we were faced with making a decision of trying to save her with no guarantees, or letting her go. Not a decision I was prepared to make! We are still extremely happy with the vet clinic, vets and vet techs that have been caring for her. They provide us with wonderful, detailed updates and we know she is well cared for. We are so thankful for Dr. Chad’s time, patience and persistence to get Remi through this successfully. I still plan to have words with the original vet that saw her twice (it’s a completely different office than where she is now) and let it go this far. I’m going to wait to see what the outcome of everything is, but I will be going back to him and talking to him about this. She truly was on the brink of death. They told us on Monday, after surgery, that had we not brought her in Sunday night she probably would not have made it through the night. Let me tell you how hard that is to hear! Let me also say that maybe my ‘gut feelings’ with my dogs isn’t so off after all! I knew Sunday night something had changed and we needed to do something NOW. I’m so thankful we did. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to young Remi, nor will I be ready in the near future! GL & I have continued to discuss her care and if she does go down hill and is in pain, we will not keep her alive for our own selfishness, we will let her go. However, I hope and pray with all that’s in me, that we are not forced to make that decision anytime soon. I pray she has many, many more years to live and celebrate life. We WILL celebrate this girl’s life each and every year. She’s our miracle girl (in addition to Faith) at this point in time and we intend to keep it that way. I’m thankful she’s young and has fight in her; I believe that’s what has gotten her through this.

So yes, this Christmas I feel that I have a lot to be thankful for. My first Christmas with GL, the love of my life! And having our Christmas miracle, Remi, home with us. I am blessed! I am thankful! God has gotten us through a really tough week and it is because of Him that we celebrate Christmas.

Please keep praying for Remi when she comes to mind. As I said before ‘we are not out of the woods yet’….we are counting down the days until we are though! Please pray for complete healing and restoration and for an uneventful Christmas and 10 days ahead! I wanted to leave you with an article that speaks so wonderfully of my heart and it’s been on my mind all week, it’s entitled “Just a Dog”.

JUST A DOG
From time to time, people tell me, “lighten up, it’s just a dog,” or “that’s a lot of money for just a dog.”
They don’t understand the distance traveled, the time spent, or the costs involved for “just a dog.”
Some of my proudest moments have come about with “just a dog.”
Many hours have passed and my only company was “just a dog,” but I did not once feel slighted.
Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by “just a dog,” and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of “just a dog” gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.
If you, too, think it’s “just a dog,” then you will probably understand phrased like “just a friend,” “just a sunrise,” or “just a promise.”
“Just a dog” brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.
“Just a dog,” brings out the compassion and patience that makes me a better person. Because of “just a dog,”
I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future. So for me and folks like me, it’s not “just a dog” but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.
“Just a dog” brings out what’s good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.
I hope that someday they can understand that it’s not “just a dog,” but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps from being “just a man or woman.”
So the next time you hear the phrase “just a dog” just smile…because they “just don’t understand.”
Written by an unknown Doctor of Veterinary Medicine. From The Therapy Dog Inc. News Magazine

Remi update...Day 2

2009-12-22T08:37:00.006-05:00

Updated 5:30pm:
It's been a long day! We were able to go see Remi, which we are so thankful for. It was good to see her holding her head up and excited to see us. She didn't even attempt to move, which is a good thing. They told us that they increased her pain meds again as she was seeming to have some discomfort. When we were there they had just brought her in from her 2nd potty break outside. I called the office just before 5 for an update and things remain the same as this morning. She has not yet been offered anything orally (water or food). We will continue to wait and take things one day at a time. It was good for us to be able to see her and talk to her, we told her to keep fighting and I also told her she could have anything she wanted (well, except rope toys!) for the rest of her life!!!! At this point we take no news as good news. She's basically where they would expect her to be....we wait....and wait.....and wait.....(did I mention I'm not good at waiting!?!?!).

I don't know what I did to my back last night but I have been in severe pain for the majority of the day. I finally had GL take me to ER this afternoon for pain meds and muscle relaxers. They are providing some relief, but the doc said it will probably take a few days for everything to relax back down. More than anything I want to make sure that I'm ready for whatever comes our way with Remi, I don't need to have limitations with back issues!

Your continued prayers are so very much appreciated. We will continue to pray and look forward to having her home! It's just not the same here without her!

**********************
I just got off the phone with Dr. Chad the vet that performed Remi's surgery and she made it though the night (thank you Lord) and she is doing as well as can be expected. Her temp has reached back to normal temperature. She seemed to be in pain during the night so they increased her pain medication. She is also on 2 different antibiotics to try and fight any infection, along with meds to decrease all the cramping as her 'insides' were 'man-handled' a lot during surgery. He said we are at the best place possible for post surgery day 2.

He made it very clear that she is most definitely not out of the woods. Even if she shows improvement in the next couple days, the next week beyond that is still critical and she could appear to be improving and yet things could still go south quickly. She still desperately needs your prayers!!

Right now the biggest things she is fighting are...

Keeping her temp in a normal range
Hoping that what antibiotics they are giving her are fighting any infection that might be inside of her. They tried to flush everything out as best as possible, but there are no guarantees (just as with human surgery). So we pray that no infection is manifesting inside her body.
We also pray that the resection of the intestine holds. They tried to remove the bad portion and resection where the intestine was healthy. We have to hope and pray that those stitches don't rip and that resection becomes permanent.

We are so thankful for Dr. Chad's quick response and hours spent on surgery yesterday. They are doing everything possible for our precious Remi, so now we just wait. He did say we can come and visit her today and so we are planning to do that.

However, I think I pinched a nerve in my back last night and I'm currently waiting to get in to the chiropractor as I can barely move at this time without extreme pain :)

As always your prayers for Remi right now are most important. We are trying to remain positive and hoping for the best. We know that God can heal and restore her body completely and we are praying for that miracle to take place with Remi.

Prayers please!

2009-12-21T18:34:00.010-05:00

How can you not absolutely love this face!?!?! We certainly love it to pieces!

For some of you this will be new news, for others not. Our baby girl Remi was rushed to the vet last night because she was really sick. She’s been sick on and off for the past 2 weeks and yesterday I knew it was bad. They thought she possibly had an obstruction, but x-ray was not definitive. They went in this morning and what they found was not good. Her large intestine had ruptured, though they are not sure when, so fecal matter was in her abdomen. There was a blockage where her stomach meets the pylorus and what appears to be rope was tearing up her intestine. She also had 2 perforations to her intestine. I received a call during surgery from the assisting vet to update us where things stood and to tell us that things were not looking so good and we were at a point of needing to make a decision of whether or not to move forward. There was no guarantee that she’d made it through surgery, or wouldn’t have complications afterwards.

I called GL and we rushed to see her. GL beat me to the vet and they were still working on her and he was able to go back and talk to them. When I arrived, we sat and had a discussion with the assisting vet and they felt things were going well and that it was safe to continue. We agreed and felt we at least needed to give her this chance. What we made clear was that we didn’t want to prolong her life if she was in pain for our sake. They assured us that if it got to that point they would let us know and we could then make a decision to put her down. She was in surgery for 3 hours and 10 minutes and they were able to resection the intestine and clean out the stomach. While they can’t guarantee 100% that everything is out, they are hopeful. She is on heavy antibiotics and also had antibiotics put inside of her while she was open. We stayed long enough to just barely see her starting to wake up. We were able to talk to her and I prayed over her and shed many tears.

I have tears flooding down my face as I type right now because this is our baby girl. I'm having such a hard time not blaming myself for this and not pushing the vet these last couple weeks that something else had to be going on. I have a million different should of, would of, could of’s running through my head, but I know at this point in time, they don’t benefit Remi in the very least. She is not out of the woods yet, they made that clear. The next 48 hours are critical and beyond that the next 5-7 days will be crucial as well. She will be at the vet for a while yet. Right now the waiting game begins, we wait to see if the resection worked and pray that the stitches don’t rip open as the intestine fluctuates as things move through it. We also pray she doesn’t have infection inside and won’t turn septic. Her blood work last night was perfect, so that’s in her favor as well. As of last night she didn’t have an infection through her bloodstream. I am trying with everything in me to be positive. I know part of having dogs is loosing them, but Remi is so young, only 7 months precious months old, she truly is just a baby. Our dogs are our kids and I promised her last night (not knowing what we faced) that she’d come home. I intend to keep that promise. So I’d ask you to pray. Please pray for Remi….that God would just heal her body and no infections would develop. Pray for strength to continue fighting as she’s been sick for a while. Pray for GL & I as we have 5 other dogs at home depending on us (yes, I said 5, we adopted another yesterday, see below). Pray that God would guide us with any decisions that come our way. Pray for a miracle! I’ve never been good at waiting and that’s what faces me this week. I don’t want to leave her side, but I have to. All I can do for her is to be strong and pray for her. So pray that God would give us strength too. I can’t tell you how much we love this little baby girl of ours!

I hope this make sense, I'm not clinical and things are a bit blurry for me at the moment!
GL & Remi in their self-portrait!

~Updated 9pm: it's been a quiet night at our house, the other dogs are fully aware of Remi not being home. Poor Faith is lost without Remi here, they are just best of buds! Faith has been wandering around the house all night looking for her. Ugh, it pulls on my heart strings. GL & I have continued to talk through the day and are attempting to get over the emotional toll it has taken on us. We are trying hard to remain positive for Remi's sake and pray for her recovery. Our house just isn't the same without her. We realize we have a long week ahead of us and wish she'd be home with us for Christmas.

I blew out my back about an hour ago, just bending over and something snapped! Go figure...when it rains, it pours, right? God is testing me today! I still believe that everything happens for a reason and I will continue to pray for our Remi.

Thanks for your prayers and support, it means a lot to both GL & I. I can't express enough how much our dogs are like our kids, watching one of them go through something like this just kills both of us. We want to be able to fix it, to make everything better and it's hard when it's thing beyond your control. We will continue to take things one day at a time and look forward to having Remi home and healthy. I did call just before 5 and talked to the vet office and she was waking up more from the anesthesia and her temp was going back up (she was really out of it when we saw her and her temp had dropped considerably). We are thankful for these small, but important steps in the right direction.

Thanks for thinking of us and mostly Remi....she means the world to us!

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Our newest addition.....meet Kenzi!

She has an amazing story about how she ended up in rescue and we are thrilled to have her. I will share her story later, once we get through everything with Remi. Kenzi is settling in great and we call her Kurious Kenzi! She has an adorable little 'trot' to her walk and does this belly swim thing that is too cute. She has some very enduring mannerisms! A few pictures of her are below...

Time to catch up

2009-12-16T20:52:00.017-05:00

My apologies for not posting in such a long time but my laptop went on the fritz and I was stuck without internet access at home for a while! Thanks to my wonderful computer guy George of GW Computers (who I would highly recommend) for getting things back up and running!

I will try my best to provide updates for the last couple weeks, but I'll warn you this will probably be a long post!

Zeeland had their Christmas Parade back on 11.30.09 and Ian & I went to check it out. It was freezing cold outside, but we bundled up, walked down to it and Ian loved it! The entire time walking to the parade as we walked past houses that were decorated he would shout “Hey, Ky….look…..lights!!!!”. And if I didn’t respond fast enough, he’d have to tell me again. He clapped and laughed during the parade and I think he really enjoyed it. It’s so much fun to watch him experience life as he continues to grow up quickly! Here is a picture from our cold parade evening.

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I also have to share this short video clip of Ian which I received on my phone. Is he not just adorable?!?!?

He’s saying, “Hi Ky, I love you”…..I could play it over and over! The little dude makes my heart smile!

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Poor Remi has been fighting a bug or something on and off for the last 2 weeks. Just when I thought she was getting better, she’d get sick again. So now 2 vet visits later, we are keeping our fingers crossed that we are on the uphill climb! She weighed all of 35lbs at the vet, which is truly amazing to me since she’s so tall and skinny! This vet mentioned he thought she might possible have some greyhound in her??????? He also offered that for $150 we could do DNA testing to find out. I told him with a nice chuckle, I’m fine with her being a mutt :) We may never know exactly what breeds she’s made up of, but that’s ok, she’s a sweetie pie and joy to have around!

Here is a recent picture of Remi...we were trying to get a side view and it was easier said than done! I promise she's not growling in the picture, she's eating a treat!

Now here are some pictures of the possible breeds that she might be....you can see what you think when you compare them to her.

Plott Hound:

Rhodesian Ridgeback:

Greyhound:

Boxer puppy:

What do you think she looks most like????? We think whatever mix she is, she's beautiful!!

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A few days after Remi started getting sick last week, GL came down with the flu too. He spent the majority of 2 days in bed, while I continually tried to disinfect the house :) I love you dear, but I don’t need the flu!

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I’d like to send out belated birthday wishes to Tara (GL’s sister) and Dad Mason! I hope you both had wonderful birthdays and know that we were thinking of you on your special day!

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GL & I are excited to share Christmas together this year (ok, so maybe I’m more excited than he is). I am trying to very much to enjoy this holiday season with him since it’s our first one together and since he won’t be home next year for the holidays. We have lots planned and lots of exciting stuff coming in the near future....I promise to keep you posted!

Doggie Christmas Pictures

2009-11-29T19:40:00.004-05:00

I had this wonderful idea this weekend that we'd take a Christmas picture of each dog in front of the tree! I wasn't dumb enough to think that we could get all 5 to sit in a picture together, so my goal was one at a time in hopes of some adorable pictures! Well, let's just say it didn't turn out so great! Basically they were either scared to be sitting by the tree or wouldn't look at the camera! I never imagined it would be such a difficult task!!! I used to be able to give Duke a ''sit-stay" command and he'd sit and pose by anything for a picture! Yeah, not so much with these 5!!! So we bagged that idea, but for humor sake I thought you might enjoy some pictures from our attempt at a photo shoot! (I suppose it also might help if I were a better picture taker :))

Happy Thanksgiving...Thankful Thursday

2009-11-26T10:51:00.002-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving and what an appropriate Thursday to participate in Thankful Thursday!

I figured I better not do another entire Thankful Thursday post on my husband again, but I am going to mention him, because I am thankful for him. He continues to amaze me each and every day by this love for me. He’s not perfect, but I don’t expect that either. I never imagined my husband could fit in so perfectly with my family, but GL seemingly does. He golfs with my dad, or they go out for breakfast (like they are tomorrow, to their new favorite place)…he even went on a field trip this week with my dad’s 3rd grade class to help….he works out at the gym with my mom…he hunts with my brother and he has the full attention of my precious nephew Ian. It never fails that when I see Ian now the first words out of his mouth are “Ky, where’s G?”! It drives me nuts, but I love it! This little dude loves his uncle G!!!

I’m so thankful that GL turned down hunting this weekend to be home to put up our Christmas decorations for our first Christmas together – it means a lot to me! Saying God has blessed me with this man, honestly doesn’t seem like enough. I don’t want to portray the image that we have this ‘perfect’ relationship – we don’t! I don’t believe in perfection, nor are either of us anywhere close to it. We have our moments and we have our struggles, just like anyone else. But we have a love like I’ve never known before, a love so strong and a commitment to work through anything that comes our way…together!

I digress….back to Thankful Thursday.

I am looking forward to spending today, Thanksgiving Day with my family. I am thankful that we will have this day together!

I am thankful that we now have 5, 4-legged kiddos who are healthy and doing marvelous! They are each so different in their own way and have such unique personalities.

I am thankful that GL was able to work yesterday again for the temp job in Holland and hopefully a few days next week. GL continues to remind me that God is faithful and has a plan!

I am thankful for the unexpected moments that GL and I have together. I was in the ER a night this week for 3 hours due to some really bad chest pain which ended up being Pleurisy (sounds awful, but it has something to do with the lining of the lungs being inflamed, which causes pain). While I’m most definitely not real thankful for the pain or the ER visit, it gave GL and me some time to talk while I was waiting for test results and pain meds to kick in. Who would ever guess that I’d be thankful for some time in ER with my husband because of the conversations it allowed us to have!

I am thankful for friends and family that surround me and continue to support GL in preparing for his depl*oyment. I am also thankful for the peace that God is giving me in facing this new adventure in my life!

So on this Thanksgiving Day Thankful Thursday what are you thankful for?

Blessing to you and your families today!

Week in review

2009-11-15T17:14:00.011-05:00

As I posted earlier in the week, Wednesday was Veteran's Day. We had plans to go out for dinner with my family and then I had a surprise party planned for GL back at my parents. I wanted to make sure to honor GL on Veteran's Day and so (very last minute) I decided to invite friends and family over for cake! With the help of my parents, I think we successfully pulled off the surprise. Pictured below is GL with my Grandfather who is a Korean War Veteran. I made a cake which looked like a 2 year old made it, so this is the most close up picture you are going to see :) Clearly, my SIL Andrea holds the cake decorating skills in the family....she's been declared the official cake maker for family events!

Someone had the brilliant idea for them to both show their bald heads :) Oh my.....

We had a nice time with friends and family....we were able to honor GL and my Grandfather and my dad's 3rd grade class also made GL cards, which was so nice!

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It's been a busy week for us. Faith was spayed on Monday, she was only a bit out of it the following day and is now back to her spunky self. Things are healing great and it's nice to have that done! Remi is also healing well from her spay and the 2 pups are back to their normal spunky personalities. Hope had a dental cleaning last week and a couple teeth pulled. She was recovering just fine, but then this week she started vomitting and large amounts. She threw up for 24 hours before I could get her into the vet. After spending the night and running many tests it was determined that nothing was moving through her intestine and stomach. She was one sick little girl and her mom was very scared. I hated to leave her over night, I hated not knowing what exactly was going on, and I knew there was no way I'd be able to handle loosing another one of my babies! The end diagnosis was some fancy words, but basically she had a really bad bacterial infection. She came home Friday after being there overnight and yesterday still just didn't seem to be back to herself. She's not fully there today, but she's much better than yesterday. So far she's keeping everything down and she's doing a regimen of antibiotics. Hopefully she'll be back to normal real soon.

GL has had reserves this weekend so it's been me and the canine company. It's been a beautiful weekend and I felt bad that GL was not home to enjoy the beautiful weather!!! Who would imagine you could have such awesome weather in the middle of November!?!?! But anyway, duty calls for him and he's off. He's still not home yet so I thought I'd take advantage of the time to post and update.

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We went to a Selah concert this past week at Res Life in Grandville. I have always enjoyed hearing Selah and heard last minute they were coming to town. What I honestly didn't realize was that it was a benefit concert for Bethany Christian Services and Kay Warren was speaking. She talked about God being passionate for the Orphans. Her talk was wonderful and caused me to think on many different levels. I've always been open to adoption, in fact, it's often been something I would love to do. GL feels the same way. Kay encouraged us to be open to God's direction, which led GL & I to further talk about it that night. While it's something on our minds, it defintiely not in the near future, we need to live through his dep*loyment first.

But I've found myself thinking this week since then. I would say that I'm passionate about many things! I'm passionate about my husband and my marriage. I'm passionate about supporting him as an Army Wife and bringing a bit more awareness to friends and family about soldiers and their families. Maybe being able to share things that others were not aware of.

I'm passionate about dog rescue. Since 4 out of 5 of my 4-legged kiddos are rescues, it's a passion of both mine and GL's. We've talked in depth about our desire to become more involved in rescue and what that means for us. It's something that is important to both of us and we are passionate about dog rescue.

Then I got to thinking about the things in life that I should be more passionate about....like my church, working out, volunteering, spending more time with family & friends, visiting with my grandparents, and the list could go on and on.

So the question that is on my mind, is how in the world do you balance all of these things? It's rather obvious to me that one person can only do some many things. So do you pick just one thing in life to be passionate about? Do you rotate? This is something I'm still working through, but I thought I'd just throw it out there as food for thought for you as well :)

Veteran's Day & Wake-Up Call

2009-11-11T12:25:00.006-05:00

First of all I want to say Happy Veteran’s Day to all those who have served our country and continue to serve! Thanks to each and every one of you! Thanks to my grandfather who served in the Korean War. Thanks to my husband who has served in 5 different tours of duty and is gearing up for this 6th next year! I have the utmost respect for all of you. And also for the families of those who serve. For what you give up to let your loved one go and fight for our freedom. I’m learning slowly what exactly that entails. Thank you doesn’t seem like enough, but it comes from the very bottom of my heart. I pray that God’s richest blessings would fall upon you and your families! I pray for those families who have lost loved ones fighting for our freedom. I pray that you’d feel a sense of God’s love, might you feel Him holding you tight. I pray that God would meet you at a very special place and touch you in a very special way, today on this Veteran’s Day, as we also honor your loved one for fighting for our freedom! The freedom I have to blog today and live my life in the way that I do….the many freedom’s that I take for granted. May we not take our freedom for granted. Our freedom has been bought with a price and sometimes that price is the that of a fallen solider who served for our freedom.

This past Sunday GL & I, along with my parents attended a special service as Resurrection Life Church in Grandville, Honoring Veterans. We had the privilege of hearing Dave Roever speak. Dave has an incredible life story of the devastating injuries he suffered in the Vietnam War, however, he has turned the scars into a reminder of healing and life that Christ provides each of us. If you’ve not heard of Dave before, or do not know his story, I’d encourage you to visit his website to learn more, truly a touching story! www.daveroever.org

I want to leave you with a story I heard on the radio a few weeks back on my way to work one morning. It honestly brought tears to my eyes for many reasons. One because I am now married to a soldier and two because I think so often some of us are just ‘uninformed citizens’. The radio hosts were reminding listeners to not forget the Veterans and those currently serving. They need to be recognized more than once a year! (amen to that!!!) So I researched the story and it is indeed true. Allow me to share the “Wake-Up Call”…

On June 8, 2005 the following item appears in the Albuquerque Tribune:

Air Force Capt. Jeremy Fresques, a Farmington native and Farmington High School graduate, joined a growing list of New Mexicans who have died in the war on terrorism, when the surveillance plane in which he flew crashed last week 80 miles northeast of Baghdad. Three of his US colleagues and an Iraqi airman also were killed. Fresques was awarded a Bronze Medal posthumously Friday.

Fresques was 26. He left behind a wife – also an Air Force captain – and his parents. His sacrifice – and theirs – in the name of our nation’s security and the cause of democracy was immense. Col. O.G. Mannon, commander of the 16th Special Operations Wing, rightly called Fresques and his comrades “heros”. We regard Fresques and all the men and women with New Mexico connections as family and hold them deeply in our hearts.

Capt. Fesques was killed in the line of duty on Memorial Day 2005, a month before he was to return home, and the news of his death was conveyed that day to Lt. Col. Scott Pleus, a commander of the 63rd Fighter Squadron at Luke Air Force Base in Glendale, Arizona, where Capt. Fresques had previously been stationed. Lt. Col. Pleus, along with a chaplain and a medical technician, drove that evening to Yuma, Arizona, to undertake the sad duty of notifying Capt. Fresques’ parents of their loss.

About a week later, Lt. Col. Pleus was notified that a memorial service would be held for Capt. Fresques in Sun City, Arizona, on June 15 and that a fly-by from Luke AFB had been requested as part of the service in Capt. Fresques’ honor. Lt. Col. Pleus quickly assented:

Of course we would do it. It’s a four-ship formation. They fly straight and level over the gravesite and then, directly over the service, the No. 3 plane pulls away while the others fly straight ahead. Symbolically he’s headed for heaven. It’s the highest form of respect we can pay to a fallen airman.

Everyone involved in such a service considers it an honor. The fliers. The honor guard. The bugler who plays taps. All of us.

While preparing to head from Glendale to Sun City (a distance of about 6 miles) for the memorial service, four F-16 fighter jets from Luke AFB flew a holding pattern over Glendale’s Arrowhead Mall, prompting a local resident unaware of their purpose to send a sarcastic letter of complaint to the editor of The Arizona Republic:

A letter to the Editor;

Question of the day for Luke Air Force Base: Whom do we thank for the morning air show?

Last Wednesday, at precisely 9:11 am, a tight formation of four F-16 jets made a low pass over Arrowhead Mall, continuing west over Bell Road at approximately 500 feet. Imagine our good fortune!

Do the Tom Cruise-wannabees feel we need this wake-up call, or were they trying to impress the cashiers at Mervyns’ early-bird special?

Any response would be appreciated.

(The man’s name is actually on the Internet with this story, however, I’m going to leave his name off the blog entry.)

The correspondent received a response from Col. Robin Rand, commander of Luke AFB’s 56th Fighter Wing, in the pages of that same newspaper the following day:

Luke Air Force Base was asked to respond to a letter writer’s question about a “morning air show” he observed recently (“A wake-up call from Luke’s jets,” Letters, Thursday):

The “wake-up call” witnessed the morning of June 15 was a formation of F-16 jets from Luke Air Force Base lining up for a memorial service in Sun City at the gravesite for Air Force Capt. Jeremy Fresques, an officer assigned to Air Force Special Operations. Fresques gave his life in defense of our country while serving in Iraq.

It is unfortunate that at the time when our nation is at war someone would believe we have less than honorable and professional reasons for such a mission.

The commander of the fighter squadron was given the difficult duty of information the family of Capt. Fresques on Memorial Day that the officer, a husband, son and Arizonan, had died in Iraq.

On behalf of the men and women at Luke Air Force Base, we continue to keep Jeremy and his family in our thoughts and prayers.

Col. Robin Rand
Luke Air Force Base

Four days later, the newspaper also published a response from Lt. Col. Pleus himself:

Regarding “A wake-up call from Luke’s jets”:

On June 15, at precisely 9:12 am, a perfectly timed four-ship of F-16s from the 63rd Fighter Squadron at Luke Air Force Base flew over the grave of Capt. Jeremy Fresques.

Capt. Fresques was an Air Force officer who was previously stationed at Luke Air Force Base and was killed in Iraq on May 30, Memorial Day.

At 9am on June 15, his family and friends gathered at Sunland Memorial Park in Sun City to mourn the loss of a husband, son and friend.

Based on the letter writer’s recount of the flyby, and because of the jet noise, I’m sure you didn’t hear the 21-gun salute, the playing of taps, or my words to the widow and parents of Capt. Fresques as I gave them their son’s flag on behalf of the president of the United States and all those veterans and servicemen and women who understand the sacrifices they have endured.

A four-ship flyby is a display of respect the Air Force pays to those who give their lives in defense of freedom. We are professional aviators and take our jobs seriously, and on June 15 what the letter writer witnessed was four officers lining up to pay their ultimate respects.

The letter writer asks, “Whom do we thank for the morning air show?”

The 56th Fighter Wing will call for you, and forward your thanks to the widow and parents of Capt. Fresques, and thank them for you, for it was in their honor that my pilots flew the most honorable formation of their lives.

Only 2 defining forces have ever offered to die for you…Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Lt. Col. Scott Pleus
Luke Air Force Base

I think that story speaks for itself! Happy Veteran’s Day….be sure to thank a Veteran today and say a prayer for those currently serving for OUR FREEDOM!

Weekend in review

2009-11-02T20:56:00.012-05:00

On Saturday we took Ian (my nephew) to a Halloween party at Jason & Amy's house. Ian wore his Cowboy costume, which he was of course so handsome in! He had a blast playing with all the toys!!! Thanks Jason & Amy for inviting us!

Ian playing with Uncle "G"
Ian in toy heaven

Auntie Ky, Ian & Uncle G

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On Sunday we took advantage of the nice weather and spent the afternoon raking the gazillons of leaves in the yard. I truly love fall I (except for raking and the time change). Here are a few pics of the dogs ~~helping us in the yard~~ enjoying the day!

Faith in our new landscaping

Remington loving the leaves!

The 2 holy terrors together! They are best of buddies and get into trouble together!

Hope eating the ornamental grass in the landscaping (grrrr.....the dogs seem to love it.....of course!)

We had a fun filled, busy weekend and all is going well. GL is on orders this week for the Army...Hope is having dental surgery on Wednesday and next Monday Faith is getting spayed....so we are keepin' busy!

Enjoy this fall weather!!

Thankful Thursday

2009-10-29T06:00:00.006-04:00

I know it’s been a while since I’ve done a Thankful Thursday and before another Thursday passes me by, I wanted to stop and take this opportunity to share.

I’m also so very thankful for my husband!!! While, he’s still searching for employment and struggling with our wonderful unemployment system, we continue to have faith and trust knowing God has a plan. **update: yesterday GL received a call from a temp agency and he starts a temp job in Holland today! Thank you Lord!!!** What impresses me the most is that during this time GL is making the best of it (if you will). Recently he took my 81 year old grandfather to his appointment with the VA. My grandmother has dementia pretty bad and it to the point where she can not go with him to these appointments anymore. So GL went with him today and spent the afternoon with them. Seriously….I’m so in love with this man! I thank God so very much for him because it’s so much more than I ever couldn’t asked for. I continue to be amazed by his love for me and how much I find myself falling deeper in love with him. He’s so genuine, caring, helpful, kind, considerate and so very much more. I won’t lie, we have our moments, like any normal couple does. But we always work through them and continue moving forward. I honestly can’t imagine my life without him.

Thank you Lord for blessing me with this man. I continue to be amazed by his love for my (our) dogs. I never imagined I’d find a man that loved his dogs as much as I love mine. They are my kids and such an important part of my life. He spoils them and loves on them more than I do!!!! They are all so taken by him, I just love it! I can tell you for certain I’m going to have 5 seriously depressed dogs on my hands when he gets deploy*ed!!! They will miss their daddy so very much! (and so will I!!!!)

GL & I share so much in common and yet we are polar opposites. We were talking recently about us meeting and how quickly things moved and we both thought, oh, I guess we did move a bit fast, no wonder people were freaking out! But to us, it feels like we’ve always been together. It’s just right! I don’t regret a single step of our relationship. I know that God has walked both of us through some tough days, but it’s formed us into who we are today and that’s what brought us together. In God’s timing and in His perfect plan. Such timing and perfection could not have been planned by us, but only by God who holds us in the palm of His hand and forms us. I wouldn’t change one day of my life because it’s made me who I am today and that’s the wife of a wonderful, loving man. A man for which I could brag about for hours on end, a man for which still makes my heart skip a beat and a man for which I have the utmost respect for and feel honored to stand beside him for the rest of my life. So today I’m more than thankful for GL. I’m thankful for how he so perfectly fits into my life and into my family. For the wonderful relationships he has with my family, I couldn’t ask for more! God has blessed me beyond measure. Even on the tough days, when frustration gets both of us down, he’s still standing beside me and our love continues to grow. What a treasure, what a gift…..yes….I’m thankful!!!

Little bit of this...little bit of that...

2009-10-21T21:16:00.005-04:00

Life has been a bit crazy for us…still…(does that ever really go away?!?!) And I’ve been struggling with some health issues that are rather frustrating. Back in 2002 I had thyroid surgery and things have not functioned well since then. Probably the last 3 months or so, I’ve been battling a number of side affects from my thyroid being too low. Among the list of side affects, probably the most annoying is the fatigue. I continuously feel worn out and extremely tired. I manage to get through the day at work, but honestly would come home and go to bed every night if I could. Most nights it’s not possible, but some nights, I come home and I’m in bed for the night. GL has been so understanding and helping get things done at home, so I don’t have to worry about it. He’s been running the dogs around and taking care of them. I just want some sense of normalcy to return. It seems like no matter what I do, no matter how much I sleep, I just can’t get caught up! It’s incredibly frustrating when your body is working against you! I had my check-up with the endocrinologist last week and he increased my dose quite a bit. It takes a number of weeks to see improvement, so now we wait. I’ve never been so good at waiting…for anything!

So in case you were wondering...blogging, facebook and emails lately fall down far on my priority list. I’m not purposely ignoring you, I just have to pick and choose and right now, those things can generally wait. I’d really appreciate your prayers that my levels would reach where they need to be and I’d be feeling better soon. This really starts to wear on your body after a while, it’s such an up and down ride! While I’m forever thankful it wasn’t cancer back in 2002, I was not prepared for this. I thought it was simply taking a pill every day for the rest of my life, I had no idea the ride would consist of this! The continuous up and down, low and high (or for me, low and even lower). It's frustrating at best...

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One week ago today (10.14.09) we celebrated my little Faith girl turning 1 year old! It just doesn’t seem possible. I look back at the pictures of when she was born and how very, very tiny she was and she fought so hard to hold onto life. She seems to deal with whatever life throws her way not knowing life any differently. She is Miss Social Butterfly and loves everyone and every dog she meets. She has developed quite the ‘mouth’ in recent months and is rather vocal. She’s smart as smart can be and I think she’d play 24/7 if she were given that opportunity. She’d also love to sleep with us every night, but due to the fact that she snores like a 300lb man on his back…..that doesn’t work so well! She has overcome so much and she continues to walk through life with her head held high and loving every minute of life! She daily reminds me that “…faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” –Heb. 11:11

Here are some pictures from the birthday party last week during which we celebrated Faith turning 1 and Bo turning 4. We don’t have an official DOB for Bo, so we decided to give him the same date as Faith and they can celebrate together. We enjoyed having my family over and hanging out with the dogs and of course Ian always provides entertainment…for us and the dogs!

Quiet.....

2009-10-19T20:35:00.006-04:00

Yes....it's quiet in the canine company tonight. Remi is gone over night because she was spayed this morning. Part of her adoption fee included her getting spayed. So this morning G drove Rem to Kzoo and he picks her back up tomorrow. The vet called and Remi's spay went great, she was in the kennel trying to play with the dog next to her! (no surprise there) So tonight we have a sense of quiet in the house that we don't normally have! Faith, Bo and daddy seem lost without Remi....Hope, Phain and mom are enjoying the moments of quiet (opps did I just say that!?!?!?) I love Remi to pieces, but she's a crazy pup and Faith totally 'eggs' her on!

Here are some pics of Remi wearing a camo coat from Grandma. It was actually bought for Duke and was too small for him, we took it out this weekend and it fit Remi perfectly. She however was not too thrilled to be wearing it, but I did manage to capture a few cute pictures of Remington sporting camo!

How can you not love that face!?!?!? She's adorable.....

Faith had to wear her coat too and trying to get a picture of them together was no easy task!

So is Remi growing at all? Picture on the left from the day we brought her home...picture on the right, this past weekend....we'll let you decide.

Faith is 1!!!!!

2009-10-14T22:20:00.002-04:00

Is just doesn't seem possible that my little Faith is a year old today! This little bit fought hard for her life and she's had an amazing first year. She seems to be living her 2nd puppyhood through Remi...they play 24/7...it's crazy!!!! Faith still has that same zest for life.

We had her to the Ophthalmologist last week and received a wonderful report. He said he could see her Retina the clearest ever! He was very much impressed with the progress we've made to improve things in her left eye. Her right eye will always have no sight. He was thrilled with her improvement and we will continue on the same drop regimen as we have been. We go back in another 6 months for a re-check.

Tonight we celebrated Faith turning 1 and Bo turning 4! I'll post the party pictures later. GL doesn't have a DOB for Bo, he was just told he was born in October. So we decided to give him the same birthday as Faith. So we celebrated with my family tonight and had a great time. I really felt like Faith reaching this milestone in her life was most definitely worth celebrating.

She's a joy to have around and she continues to make us laugh each and every day. She's one smart little bit. She is loved by both of us more than words could ever express. And I'm forever thankful that she now has a daddy that loves her so very much!

I put a slide show of pictures together of Faith's life thus far as we celebrate her 1st birthday today. We look forward to celebrating many, many more years ahead!

Love you little bit!

More wedding pictures!

2009-10-08T19:22:00.054-04:00

The long awaited (ok, only 4 weeks) wedding pictures have arrived. We actually got them last Friday, but tonight is the first time I've had on the computer to post them. We are just absolutely thrilled with the pictures....all 2oo something of them!!!! They are so unique, amazing, different and capture our day perfectly and how much fun we had. I had a really hard time picking what to post here, so I hope you enjoy them!

Things are going well for us...life is busy as usual. We have a big birthday coming up next week so keep watch for the big day :)

*the end*

...or at least for now, maybe we'll share more later!

VIP's....

Matron of Honor - Stephanie VanderKooi, friend

Best Man - Gary Scott, aka 'Scooter', friend

Mini Bride - Hannah Scott

Mini Groom - Ian Poole (my nephew)

trust...faith...

2009-09-23T14:16:00.009-04:00

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

Trusting God and knowing He has a plan for my life is often something that is rather difficult for me. I have very much felt over the past 6-8 years God has really been trying to teach me. When I met GL and everything fell into place, I could see God’s plan unfolding, I could see why I had walked the path that I did. The puzzle pieces were fitting together and it made sense to me. As much as many of those years were not fun, I now could see God’s plan. He was molding me into the person He wanted me to be.

Silly me to think that God was done molding and stretching me! I guess a part of me was thinking that the hard stuff was over. God has brought me to GL and we were going to have a wonderful, long, happy life together. (Ok not fairy tale, I know marriage is hard work.)

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

Trust. And Faith….Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. –Hebrews 11:1

Faith and Trust. Two things that were definitely a struggle for me over the past few years. That verse from Hebrews was often in the forefront of my mind and now I find myself clinging to it again.

Faith.

Trust.

Where am I headed with this you might ask? Well….GL received more information this past weekend regarding his upcoming deploy*ment. As many of you know, the details of this are something we are not at liberty to share. Let’s just say things seem to be ever changing, but right now, some things are pretty well set in stone.

Yes, I knew about this upon entering into my relationship with GL. I knew this was more than likely going to come at some point in time. However, I am becoming more and more aware that I’m not sure how you prepare yourself for something like this. I want to be selfish and not let him go. I want to hang onto him with all that I have in me for fear of letting go…

Trust. Trust?

How do I trust? How do I have faith? How do I walk down this path that is ahead of me with my head held high, supporting my soldier, my husband, the man that I love? How do I let go of the love of my life to go and fight for my freedom and for yours? To risk his life for us?

Yes, I’ve lived on my own and I know that I can do this. But “this” is different. I don’t want to walk through life alone anymore. I have my partner, my best friend, my husband to share my life with. For better or worse, through good times and bad for the rest of my life! So, somehow I guess “this” falls in to that.

I feel like my faith is that of a mustard seed at the moment. I know that my God is so BIG and he can do anything. I know He can walk with GL through this deploy*ment and protect him and bring him back home. I know that God can walk with me through this and carry me when I am weak. I just have to have faith. Have trust. For my God is a big God and through Him all things are possible.

I know that God has walked with GL through 4 deploy*ments already in his lifetime and He has protected him and saved him from the brink of death many times. I know that God can do this again as well. But the realist in me also knows that where GL is headed soldiers and civilians are dying, daily. Did you hear me? DAILY!!!!! And frankly, that scares the living crap out of me!

On the flip side, I also know that GL loves what he does. He’s very good at what he does (not trying to brag). I can’t and won’t tell him he can’t do this because that is his choice. I’ve always had the utmost respect for those that serve our country and their families. I’ve always been proud of GL for what he does and I feel very honored to stand beside him. But if I’m being 100% honest….that’s where I’d like him to remain….right beside me and not off fighting in another country where people are being killed daily! I mean would you want to send your loved one into that situation???? Ok, so there may be some days you’d consider it :) But in all honesty, no, who would want their loved one to be there.

Then I have to remind myself that every solider fighting for us right now, has loved ones behind at home, probably feeling some of the same stuff I’m feeling. Have you ever stopped to think about what it takes to be a solider? The selflessness required? The job at hand? The things they see and face? The memories, injuries, and ‘baggage’ they carry with them for life? Have you thought about that co-worker or family member of yours that drives you absolutely nuts…can you fathom fighting for their freedom? Freedom has an entirely different meaning to me now. Soldiers and their families have an entirely different meaning to me now. I’m an Army wife….ready or not.

I was emailing with a friend recently about the change in our lives and the unexpected roads ahead of both of us. She said this to me…This is the situation God has put us in and now is when we just have to do it. Pull up our big girl panties and keep moving forward. We’re blessed. God has been shaping us since we were formed in His image for this very important job!

So as Amy so kindly pointed out to me….it’s time for me to pull up my big girl panties (sorry, I just think that’s kinda funny….can you tell she has little kids!?!?) and walk down this new path in life. And I will keep praying and trusting and growing in my faith. I can tell you that I will have my up and down days. I will have days when I will need to rely on my friends and family to walk beside me when GL is gone. But mostly I’d ask that you pray for us. Pray as we prepare for this road and start walking down it. Pray for GL, his safety and protection. Please pray that God would give him strength, health and guidance. Pray that both of us would daily feel God’s presence in our lives, holding us close. Please pray that our relationship would only grow stronger and that our love would grow deeper. Though I’m not really sure how that works when you aren’t in the same country for over a year, but I have faith God can make it happen. My biggest prayer request is that God would bring GL back home safely after his tour is done!

I will keep praying and trusting. Knowing that God can move mountains, He can protect and guide, He can comfort and provide. For He knows the path ahead...He has a plan! Might I eagerly walk with Him in faith & trust!

Faith.….Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. –Hebrews 11:1

Trust…. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

Puppy Mill Awareness Day 2009

2009-09-19T08:44:00.000-04:00

Today is Puppy Mill Awareness Day. Rescue is near and dear to my heart and 3 of my girls have come directly from puppy mills. Hope was rescued after having 2 litters of puppies in her first year of life. Faith was lucky to be born into freedom, her mom was rescued from a mill and was able to have the pups in a foster home. Remi was born in a mill, but was thankfully rescued at a young age and was able to get out.

It's a reality that most people are not familiar with. It's something we need to educate people about. And yes, it's something that can be difficult to see or hear, but for the sake of those in the mills we need to watch, listen and learn. We can easily do our part and not support puppy mills. And I can also tell rescuing a puppy mill dog is one of the most amazing opportunities and wonderful journey! Adopt a pet through a rescue or humane society....don't buy from a pet store and support the puppy mill business.

There are many websites for which you can go to and learn about puppy mills. Today I ask you to watch this video.....please take a couple minutes to watch.

http://www.awarenessday.org/

http://www.banpuppymills.com/ - The Dog Whisperer's Cesar Millan just teamed with LCA to rescue and rehabilitate dogs from puppy mills.

You can also find a couple links to the right on my blog regarding puppy mills.

And these are just a few of the sites with information out there.

The Canine Company

2009-09-15T16:00:00.000-04:00

In case you ever wondered where our blog name came from....it's my attempt to make it military related. A company is a military unit, consisting of soldiers. So I thought it to be fitting that we had a 'canine company'!

Remi is growing like a weed! These are pictures of her first bath (with us at least).

Remi weighed in at 21 lbs today....she's growing like crazy! She's getting very tall and solid. She's not so much getting wider yet. Below from L-R is the first day we brought her home, 3 weeks later and then 6 weeks later.

She's still sweet as ever and doing very well with all the other dogs. They have all gotten into a nice routine and everyone is doing good. Remi by far loves to play with Faith the most and they are crazy when they get going....Faith has one heck of a mouth on her for being such a little bit! But Remi also loves to play with Bo....Faith just puts up with it longer than Bo does. But all in all everyone is doing well and I'd have to say we are one happy canine company!

Faith is 11 months!

2009-09-14T20:10:00.006-04:00

It's hard to believe that Faith is 11 months old today! 1 short month away and she will reach her 1 year birthday! She's still a tiny 'little bit' but she's definitely a spit fire! She seems to be doing well, though we are starting to see some changes in her vision. She seems to be loosing more vision, which is hard to see. We go back to the Ophthalmologist in 3 weeks, so we'll see what he says. She loves to play with Remi and will definitely stand her ground!

Here are a few pictures to compare....11 weeks to 11 months!

And yes, that's a pine cone in her mouth! She loves to play "keep away" with Remi. She's worse than a little kid. She goes in stands in Remi's face for her to see whatever she has and then game on! It's actually rather funny to watch!

Seriously!?!?!?

2009-09-13T17:14:00.006-04:00

So our first week of marriage didn't go as I ever imagined!

We came back from our weekend B&B on Monday. I returned to work on Tuesday.

GL got slammed with a migraine on Wednesday. He now gets some killer migraines since his TBI in Ir*aq. A definite downside from serving our country (in my opinion) would be the injures they can walk away with and then need to re-learn how to live with this new injury. GL's migraines just seem to be getting worse and nothing seems to really help. He was down for 2 days and sicker than sick with it. Thursday night when I got home from work I dragged his butt into ER for treatment (which I mentioned in a prior post). Yes, we were there about 3 hours so he could get treatment and fortunately it helped!

Unfortunately, GL was supposed to be driving his grandparents back to West Virginia after the wedding, but due to his awful migraine, that was postponed.

Friday morning he woke up feeling better but still in a bit of a 'fog' feeling from all the meds. I woke up and didn't feel great myself. I'll spare you the lovely details, but I ended up getting into my doctor and found out I had a UTI. Marvelous! I've not had one before, so I thought, ok, get on an antibiotic and things will improve. Well, things got considerably worse before getting better. Within 4 hours of my doctor's appointment I was in unbearable pain right around my kidney's! Crap!!!! So GL took me into ER and they think I passed a kidney stone. We did a CT to check for anything else going on and everything looked ok. Some marvelous pain meds were given to me and I was back home. (Let's just said, I never knew a UTI could be so painful! Ugh!)

Friday & Saturday GL was supposed to be in Lansing on orders for the Army. He decided to get up early Saturday morning and drive there since he'd had me to the ER Friday night. So early Saturday morning he was off. About an hour or so after he'd left I get a call from him...."I'm on the side of the road and your car broke down on me". I was still in a bit of a fog from the pain meds, but threw some clothes on, called my mom and off we went to GL. GL was stranded in the middle of this awful fog bubble. It was hard to even find him and even scarier being pulled over and people FLYING by you. I think I saw my life flash in front of my eyes a few times. Long story short we had to call a wrecker to tow it. He told us of a dealership that could look at it a couple miles away so he'd take it there. We get there and they certainly don't look open to me, but he dumps my car off in the parking lot and off he goes. And sure enough this place isn't open on Saturday or Sunday :)

Not only was GL supposed to be in Lansing by now, but after that he was supposed to be driving his grandparents back to West Virginia since that was postponed from earlier in the week!

Here we sit in this dealership parking lot at 9am on a Saturday morning with my broken down car. Not to mention again, remember this little UTI deal I have going on?!?! Yeah, hello, I need a bathroom!!!!

We stopped for breakfast and came back into town. The plan was for GL to go get my car with a trailer and come back into town and attempt to fix it. My mom went back with GL to get my car (about an hour trip one way). They get there and GL realizes he doesn't have the keys for my car and he needs to get into my car in order to put it onto the trailer! My brother graciously drove the keys out to them and helped GL load my car. Which from what I hear was a pretty interesting sight to see! Go figure...I missed it!

They get back into town with my car and GL and my brother start to work on it. GL thinks it's the fuel pump so they start there. They were able to replace it and get it going again.....thank you Lord!

The day was pretty much a wash and nothing was accomplished that any of us had planned! I'm so thankful to my family for helping us out, especially since I still am not feeling so great. Thanks too to Kyle for helping GL to get it fixed and thanks to Andrea for letting us rearrange your day as well.

At the end of the day everyone was exhausted, but at least we could laugh about it! I honestly feel many positives could be taken from the day and probably a few blessings in disguise. I don't know why my car broke down yesterday when it did, but I'm so thankful GL was still in MI and not half way to West Virginia with his grandparents and their 2 dogs when it happened! I'm so thankful for God's protection that was with GL in my car when it quit and along side of the busy, foggy highway. I'm thankful for my family who was very quick to come to our rescue and help us out!

I don't know what could've unfolded yesterday had my car not broken down, but I believe God had a plan and there is a reason for it all. You have to laugh, right!?!?!? We either can laugh or cry at this past week....personally, I'd rather laugh!

GL left early this morning to finally drive his grandparents back to West Virginia. Please pray for safety in the remainder of their trip and for his return tomorrow. Then he has reserves this coming weekend! The poor dude never stops! Some day soon we'll have some time together again :) Time when we aren't sick, in the ER, fixing cars, driving across county, at work, at reserves.........ok, well, hopefully we'll have time together again soon!

I do know one thing for certain.....when he's gone I miss him! This man means the world to me, I love him with every part of me. I'm still not sure how I'm going to survive an entire year of him being deplo*yed, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Right now, I just want to enjoy and cherish the time I have with my new husband!

PS....would you pray we have an uneventful coming week???? Thank you :)

Are we alive?!?!?!?

2009-09-10T21:40:00.007-04:00

Yes....well, sort of....

I just returned home after sitting in the ER with GL for 3 hours. He's had an awful migraine for 2 days and has pretty much been in bed or in the bathroom sick. I finally made the decision when I got home from work tonight to take him in. It was a good thing, but it took a bit of time to run fluids and meds in him. Thankfully he is now feeling much relief. Please join me in praying for continued strength.

Since I just had 3 fairly quite hours in an ER room to think in complete darkness, my mind has been going....so, I thought I'd share it with you.

GL and I got married exactly 6 months to the date of our first date. As I look back over the past few months there is so much we've been through. The loss of Ryan & Duke still comes to my mind every day. The loss of GL's job. Health struggles for both of us. And yet no matter what life seems to throw our way we manage to work our way through it, together. As I sat and looked at GL lay in the hospital bed tonight, tears flooded my eyes. The love I have for this man is honestly something I can not put into words. He means so very much to me and I am so honored and excited to be his wife and look forward to a lifetime of love and wonderful memories. Will we continue to have some downs days and hard times? Most definitely. But I know we can work through them, we've already proven that. I thank God every day for this man. God has by far given me more than I ever imagined in a soul mate, in a life partner. I don't say it enough, but I love GL beyond words and I am so thankful to God for giving me the desires of my heart and so very much more.

The wedding was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. The weather was perfect. The day was perfect. Everything went perfect. And even if it didn't, it didn't matter....the day was awesome! A friend of the family married us and the words of the ceremony were so rich and so very meaningful. It was completely tailored to us and what brought us to this point in our lives. We each wrote our own vows that we shared....yes, I cried by the time I got to like the 5th word in mine! Wasn't planning on that! It was a day filled with wonderful times and memories, shared with family and dear friends. It was a day captured so amazingly by our wonderful photographer, Kerry. We were so excited to have her capture our special day, her talent is amazing! You can click here to see a preview of the wedding pictures.

Over the weekend GL and I spent 2 nights at a Bed & Breakfast in Ludington, the Cartier Mansion to be exact. Thanks to a wonderful wedding gift from my parents and they took care of the dogs for us. It was a wonderful treat, the time away was so special for both of us. We so enjoyed the time and not having a schedule! We enjoyed sleeping in, a wonderful king size bed, breakfast in bed, shopping, good food, great ice cream, beautiful sunsets on the beach and amazing chocolate covered strawberries!

The saying "life is hard but God is good" comes to my mind tonight. While there are many times in life that we don't understand why things happen the way they do, God has a plan. I spent many years struggling with dating and thinking love was never going to happen for me. God had a plan. God was preparing me for His plan and His timing. God knew exactly what He was doing, even when I felt so lost and alone. God was walking me down a path, that yes, wasn't much fun at times, but it led me straight to GL. Not in my timing, but God's. Even when life is hard and it hurts, God is still good. God is still faithful. God still has a plan even when we don't understand. God bless the broken road....

Wedding Pictures

2009-09-10T21:33:00.003-04:00

Our amazing photographer has posted a few preview pictures on her blog, you can click this link to view them: http://imagesofessencephotography.blogspot.com/2009/09/gl-kylea-wedding-bells-grand-rapids.html

The pictures are awesome and we are so excited to have Kerry capture our special day!

Now I can't wait to see the rest of them!

Camping at Gun Lake

2009-08-28T15:50:00.000-04:00

My mom spent the week camping at Gun Lake last week and we of course went out to visit a couple of times. Remi loved camping! Remi loves meeting new people, new kids and she certainly got a lot of that at the campground. Remi went for her first swim in the lake (sorry, I didn't get pictures). And Remi & Bo event spent a night camping with daddy (mom came home and slept with the other 3 girls, since mom's not so much into camping).

Faith cuddling with Grandma....the weather wasn't the greatest and a bit cold and Faith wanted to snuggle in her fleece blanket!

Daddy chillin'.......eatin' his Runts!

Remi decided that she liked to play with empty plastic water bottles! Good thing I brought other toys for her. This would also be another Duke trait in this little girl! Duke had a thing for plastic bottles as well :)

Bo & Remi chillin' in G&G's camper after a night of camping. It was a bit chilly in the morning so they hung out inside. Shhhhhh......don't tell G&G :)

PS....yes, I was there....I just hide behind the camera :)

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-26T17:00:00.000-04:00

Remi is growing!

2009-08-25T20:13:00.004-04:00

For the first week we had Remi we weren't really sure if she was growing! Well, after having her 3 weeks we don't have to wonder anymore.....we can most definitely tell :)

Remi on the left with daddy on the day we picked her up. Then Remi on the right with daddy 3 weeks later....can you tell a difference?